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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:16 PM
glad to see you seem to be doing well! i've been meaning to reach out for a long while.
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:17 PM
yeah I must admit I'm not the best at keeping in touch with people either. it is good to hear from you again though, I've sent a few thoughts your way through this whole pandemic thingo
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:17 PM
big same. i heard AUS wasn't as affected and was glad
i suck at keeping in touch with people
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:18 PM
we're actually in the recovery phase already, so that is good. I presume USA isn't the same?
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:19 PM
US is a shitshow
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:19 PM
and it's can be difficult. you know, you gotta balance life stuff and work stuff and relaxation and time just slips away
ah I'm sorry to hear that 😦
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:19 PM
i mean some states have "reopened" or whatever bologna it is. but i think its too soon. theres not enough testing done
balancing life stuff requires having a life! lol. but yeah work kept me pretty busy i guess
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:20 PM
well it's good you still have employment during this time I suppose, lots of my mates have lots their jobs
gotta stay positive, silver lining and all that jazz
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:21 PM
yeah, i lucked out on that. we went down to like half time for a while. i was supposed to be laid off but the store manager negotiated. and now we're like moving stuff around and remodeling so we're back up to like 36ish
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:22 PM
that's good to hear. so how are things on your end, excusing the current situation? last I heard, you were sharing a living space with akinai?
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:23 PM
that was a while ago yeah. it sort of worked i guess til she moved to her BF's place in maine. i got kind of tired of being her taxi tho
i guess a lot has kinda changed since then
big things i guess are.... had a surgery, stopped talking to charlotte, bought a house
what about you?
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:25 PM
oh wow those are big changes! similar kind of stuff on my end I suppose, bought an apartment in the CBD and in negotiations for a second place, climbing the ladder at work #wageslave
hopefully the surgery wasn't too serious
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:26 PM
oh hey, you said you wanted to be a landbarron, so thats great!
never hurts to have multiple incomes
do you still work at the same place?
gallbladder tried to kill me. i almost passed out at work so someone had to drive me to ER lol
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:27 PM
oh wow that's brutal. roughly the same thing happened with my appendix... yeah still at the same place, I'm head of the technical team - or I was until they all got laid off / transferred cos of the virus
7 years in september, gunna cash out the long service leave and find something new
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:29 PM
thats amazing. so impressive to be at one place for that long
i went back to the corporate slave that is BN. and i think im coming up on ... 5 years maybe? idk
but thats just retail trash
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:30 PM
eh, you gotta do what you gotta do, my job probably isn't that dissimilar, I just get to do it sitting down at a computer
anyway I have to go on my lunch break but I really would like to catch up a bit more sometime, perhaps if I see you in the URPG voice chat I might pop in and say hi?
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:31 PM
at least it's what you studied
yeah, that would be fantastic actually
i missed you a lot haha
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:31 PM
same on my end
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:31 PM
enjoy your lunch!
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:31 PM
thanks! I'll pop in when I'm next free, glad to see you're still around and doing well 🙂
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:32 PM
i only just came back to uprg
after a almost 3 yr break
a few days ago lol
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:32 PM
hahaha spooky timing then~
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:32 PM
indeed. maybe destiny!
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ChainReaction01 11-May-20 01:32 PM
that'd be fine with me!
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WinterVines 11-May-20 01:33 PM
glad to hear
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WinterVines 17-May-20 11:12 AM
so did you get another cockatiel?
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:30 PM
Yeah, she's a rescue, a mate's sister got her but couldn't deal with her and was going to take her to a shelter. When I heard I was like AN ANIMAL NEEDS ME and took her in lol
She's gorgeous when she wants to be and a right little shit the rest of the time
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:31 PM
aww, thats great
and thats typical of birds i hear XD when i went to the ren faire they had like semi exotic bird rescue there
a lot of people dont realize birds can live a hella long time
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:31 PM
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:31 PM
n'aww
my friend used to have a cockatiel too. she did nothing but screech
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:31 PM
Yeah she's probably got 20+ years to go
Yep
As soon as I leave her line of sight, scream scream scream
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:32 PM
XD she's attached
so pretty tho
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:33 PM
She knows it too, her favourite words are "pretty girl" XD
What about your cats, what's the story there?
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:34 PM
oh i forget they can talk! thats cute. all vergildoes is snore
ive had vergil about a year and a few months. an old coworker stpped by work and showed a pic of a kitten and said her vet was fostering the brother of it and it needed a home
so i scooped him up and we had a blizzard the next day
i might have a pic
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:35 PM
Yes please!
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:36 PM
my phone is silly so i gotta find the file haha
he loves water
literally jumps in the tub as soon as i open the bathroom door
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:38 PM
Awww he's gorgeous! Rare for a cat to like water though
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:39 PM
yeah its weird. he doens't mind baths either. this is vergil
gourdin is only like idk 8 months maybe. my trash stepbrother didn't fix his cat and she had kittens so i tok one and got one for my coworker who will take care of it
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:40 PM
Oh he's handsome too
Do they get along?
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:40 PM
hes been a litle shit
oh yeah
tey act like they dont like each other. buthen this happens
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:41 PM
Hahaha omg that's so sweet
Kyandra would love a friend but with birds its hard to tell genders and I really don't want babies so...
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:43 PM
yeah that might be hard to handle haha. like a house full of birds. luckily you aren't allergic. and i take it pete's not?
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:44 PM
Nah we're both fine. She likes Pete okay but usually prefers to hang out with me. Unless he has food >_>
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:45 PM
is that typical of birds? sometimes cats will pick a person and stick with them
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:45 PM
Yeah it's common for birds too
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:46 PM
pets are nice tho. i dont think i could live here without one. i went like 9 months in this house by myself and was just so sad and lonely it was ridic haha. but the house feels less empty
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:47 PM
Yeah I agree, Pete's great but it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes, so it's nice to have someone who will whistle songs with me
Even though I want to throttle her sometimes
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:49 PM
haha yeah. cats are pains but i need them rn. its good to see youre still besties with pete tho!
and what do you mean he wont whistle songs with you. music is great for teh soul
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:49 PM
Hahaha we have... very different tastes in music
By which I mean his taste is respectable and mine isn't XD
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:50 PM
i would probably disagree!
haha
listens to nightcore and vocaloid trash
my own taste is probably not great either i suppose
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:51 PM
Oooh okay yeah you'd be more on my side
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:51 PM
we did share a lot of interests
not surprising!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:51 PM
Sometimes I get whiplash when I go from Disturbed to anime theme songs
Yeah very true
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:51 PM
but thats a pretty wide variety already!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:52 PM
Opposite ends of a scale at least, yeah
Ugh cooking is such a pain
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:53 PM
agreed! altho ive done more of it lately. trying to take better care of myself. but cooking for one is so dang hard
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:54 PM
Yeah it really is!
So many containers of leftovers @_@
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:54 PM
yeah. sometimes i can't eat it all before it goes bad. and then i tend to make the same things over and over again because i dont know the science of cooking very well ._.
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:56 PM
Haha I've taken a few classes, I'm not bad at cooking these days, but it's so much effort. Like, do I spend an hour making Stir fry or risotto or do I spend ten minutes making pasta salad
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WinterVines 17-May-20 12:58 PM
truth
i feel that so hard haha
especially when i come home from work tired
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 12:59 PM
Yep, I come home and then work out and then shower and it takes all my strength to not just throw a bag of chips in the oven or something, I definitely don't have the energy for proper cooking
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:01 PM
yeah. and then like housechores or errands in town on top of that. yuck haha. i started going to th gym after work beacuse i was already out. if i came home i wouldn't do it
but corona has put a damper on tha
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:02 PM
Oh nice, I should go to a gym because I'm prob not doing the right exercises but I just hate them so much
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:02 PM
honestly i hate it
i hate being around other people because im already judging myself haha
but they had an indoor track and it was snowy out and i was goin to die if i didn't do something so i started running
and then lifting like once a week too
honestly a lot you can do at home probably fine. liek a basic muscle chart would show you if youre hitting all teh groups evenly
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:06 PM
Maybe, I've got a bike and these elastic band things, they seem to prevent me putting on weight at least so I'm like "eh good enough"
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:07 PM
so are you like super ripped now XD
i joke about that with my coworkers. i tell them im going to get swole every day when i went to the gym haha
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:09 PM
Oh God no XD getting ripped takes effort
All about day maintenance. Work out enough to justify eating that little bit too much
*dat maintenance
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:10 PM
i mean its all science and makes perfect sense haha
my claim to fame is that i ran two consecutive miles in 24 minutes. so pretty proud of that.
i was doing a lot better when i was running i think. but i dont really feel safe doing it on the street out here atm. and a lot of parks are still closed
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:12 PM
Oh wow yeah that's impressive! Sucks that you don't feel safe though :( us guys have it too easy
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:13 PM
sometimes i do wish i was a big burly dude for safety haha. and duluth is pretty high in trafficking because its a port town and also has a train, so i dont wanna be too reckless
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:15 PM
Yeah safety first. It's the world we live in I guess. I try to do my part by not wearing hoodies into town. Got into a fight a few months ago when some guy wouldn't lay off a girl on the train too
Their mistake is thinking the guy reading D&D manuals isn't afraid to take a hit XD
*is afraid
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:16 PM
yikes, thats horrible!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:16 PM
Mobile typing is hard
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:16 PM
but good on you standing up for other people
yeah it is. i hate my phone
man im really glad you're just lke an awesome dude
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:17 PM
Thanks, that's kind of you to say. I'm really glad you reached out, I'm so glad you're still around and doing okay
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:18 PM
*wobbles hand. that last part is arguable XD but ive been trying for more up front truth as i see it as a policy
let people know tey're doing good, admit faults, that sort of thing
honesty important t me after charlotte i guess
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:20 PM
It's a great policy to have. And everyone has their own stuff to work through
Just gotta keep at it
Ah shit Ky has seen the pasta and descended XD
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:21 PM
haha she swarm. food important to pets
and yeah, important to keep trying to improve. ive damaged or destroyd so many of my relationships with people even with good intentions so im always overanalyzing now
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:24 PM
Oh I know that burden,I'm great at overanalysis
Improvement is a good thing to strive for though
And if you take a few steps back, eh no one's perfect. And it's good if you can at least recognise it
God knows I've made epic mistakes
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:26 PM
arguable!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:26 PM
But I just try to be the best version of myseld
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:26 PM
and yeah, i mena younger me was an idiot. i hink thats par for the course for most people
yeah same. just being a better version if i can help it
i would at least like to not be alone for the rest of my life. #goals
gotta be a good enough person for that i guess
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:27 PM
Yeah I hear all of that haha
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:29 PM
i dont think that will be hard for you
from what i know about you!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:30 PM
Ah meeting people is hard
Especially in the current climate
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:30 PM
yeah
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:30 PM
But eh, I'm content to wait
I have video games and a warm house and all the food I can eat
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:30 PM
those are good things o have
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:30 PM
Much luckier than most ppl
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:30 PM
yeah
but its not wrong to want what you want either
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:31 PM
No, you're right
Also, for what it's worth, you are easily the coolest person I ever dated. Patience will pay off!
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:32 PM
ehhhh
i dont really go out anyway
i haven't dated anyone
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:32 PM
It is hard, I hate going out
The only people you meet when out are those who LIKE being out
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:33 PM
yeah unfort
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:33 PM
Which, you know, I don't
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:33 PM
except for with friends!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:33 PM
But oh well
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:33 PM
and d&d meets!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:33 PM
Yes true
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:34 PM
honestly part of my problem is that i just compare them to you. that never works out well for them haha
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:34 PM
Haha that's a compliment! I feel bad if that's caused problems for you though :(
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:35 PM
you should absolutely not feel bad. because this all on me. if anything, you should be mad at me lol
you would not believe how terrible i feel tha i did not treat you better
and for thati am deeply sorry
so
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:36 PM
Nah, I was never mad at you. We were a long shot. But I've always been thankful because you gave me the happiest years of my life
And now I'm just happy to know you don't hate me
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:37 PM
geez, thats a big compliment too. but i still wish i had done beter. i ask myself every day why i let myself sabotage. why i didn't fight for it harder and just have a teeny bit of confidence in myself
could never hate you lol
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:39 PM
Hindsight is 20/20. I wasn't particularly great in some ways back then. But please don't dwell on how it ended, I have no regrets. And I'm so glad that we can talk so casually now
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:42 PM
easier said than done. i dont regret that time either. i have undenyable proof that it was all real and powerful and meant something great. but i still do regret the ending. my dad brought you up a couple months back when i was there for a day, said he liked ya. which was random for him to just come out and say. but i think that was one of the things that sent me on this hardcore feels trip haha
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:43 PM
Haha yeah that is a bit of a random thing for him to say. It's nice to know he didn't think I was a bad guy
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:44 PM
haha they all liked you. its me that is te disappointment unfort
wayne asked abotu you for a while too
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:44 PM
Nah not at all
Yeah I was going to ask how Wayne is
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:45 PM
they were bunkered down for corona, working a couple days a week. his mom is still in an assisted living sort of ting so he can't go see her rn
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:47 PM
Oh that's sad. Hopefully they're doing okay. I always really liked Wayne, he was chill about me but he also let me know that he would brook no shit from me
The whole "if you hurt her you'll be in trouble" thing, I respect thst
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:47 PM
yeah he grew up in a weird biker and rural culture. i had no illusions about any of hat. when we went to bars sometimes i me ome of his old friends who were enforcers on drug payments
i met some* good grief fingers, stop yer shakin
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:48 PM
Oh wow I bet that was an experience
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:50 PM
eye opening, since i was young. it was sort of one of those oh shit, that kind of stuff really does happen. his name was bones. scary dude. but nice guy.
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:51 PM
At least he was nice. He might have been forced into that life by circumstances beyond his control, it's not for us to know
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:52 PM
yeah. lots of that happening. hard to break the cycle
but i watched a lot of my students when i was a TA struggle with that
kind of belatedly inspired me down the road i guess. years too late. but not to take that abusive cycle anymore. still hard not to feel like a bad person about it tho haha. but she taught me such shitythings. not being better at relationships might have been a learned thing from her!
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:54 PM
honestly thats quite possible
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:56 PM
it too bad really. cos not also being that respected in a relationship can lead to all sorts of problems. Im so glad you stck up for people like tha girl on the tram. too easy o be harrassed
and once that starts hard to break out
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ChainReaction01 17-May-20 01:57 PM
yeah 😦 cycles of abuse are vicious
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WinterVines 17-May-20 01:59 PM
yeah. and like it leeches into everything else and affects a lot!
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WinterVines 18-May-20 08:16 AM
thanks for yesterday. i think some of that i've needed to say for an extremely long time
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 08:53 AM
you're most welcome, I don't really think I did that much but if it helped you in any way then I'm very glad. for what it's worth I enjoyed chatting, it's been far too long and I would like to stay in contact more than we have, for which I take most of the blame lol
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WinterVines 18-May-20 08:54 AM
nah, you can't take blame when im taking it!
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 08:55 AM
respectfully disagree 😛
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WinterVines 18-May-20 08:55 AM
i feel better about some things
i woudl also like to stay in contact better than i have
i think my book about charlotte will also have a lot about you in it
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 08:58 AM
oh really? I hope nothing too scathing
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WinterVines 18-May-20 08:59 AM
oh no, not at all. all positive. you're just too much a large part of my life to tell teh story without you in it
also who doesn't want to write about when their mom drunk called thier boyfriend and made empty promises for an hour
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 08:59 AM
hahahahaha omg I'd forgotten that
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WinterVines 18-May-20 08:59 AM
she would be an absolute hiliarious riot if she was not my mother
but nah, you taught me a lot about myself that i didn't know. i think you always saw me a lot clearer than i ever saw myself
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:01 AM
in my experience that's pretty much the human condition. we're so busy carrying our own baggage that we aren't very good at doing self-inventory
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:02 AM
yeah. and lately it seems all ive been doing is reflection. for years. its eye opening
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:03 AM
that's a positive thing. and I don't do very much of it because I don't think I'd like what I would find. that's one of my major flaws, I don't make much progress on myself because of fear
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:03 AM
yeah same for a long time. scared that i would look at myself and see what a truly horrible person i had been and not be able to cope
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:04 AM
I never saw that in you, not even once. you had lots of trauma but were always this vivacious determined person
moments of weakness, sure. but that's humanity for you
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:05 AM
trauma is a good word for it. but yeah. we all got those dark parts or hard times. it just changes flavor
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:06 AM
something that helps me is the knowledge that humans are hard-wired to always make the optimal decision. so whenever I look back at the mistakes I made, it helps me to know that at the time, I truly thought that was the best move
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:06 AM
this is true
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:06 AM
sure, they look dumb and childish now, but that the time I made that choice with the information and experience I had
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:07 AM
youre absolutely right. its a good thing humans can adapt and learn
or we'd be SOL
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:07 AM
hahaha yep
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:07 AM
i feel like i learned a metric ton in a very short amount of time
and maybe that's why my life makes me feel so restless now, since i just understand so much more
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:09 AM
maybe, yeah. wisdom is definitely a learned thing. it's why I'm so sad that these days the knowledge and wisdom of the elders is ignored in favour of artificial learning like the internet and books written by celebrities
like, tribal elders were respected and consulted on things for a reason
these days we throw old people into homes and ignore them
and the world's going to shit oops I wonder if there's a correlation
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:10 AM
yeah, youre not wrong at all. it is pretty sad. and society isnt' really set up to be like those family units anymore either where they'd live with their kids or whatnot (edited)
altho its sort of relieving in a bad way that its not just in the US that that stuff happens
sort of, the entire world is stupid, not just where i live lol
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:23 AM
hahaha yeah I know exactly what you mean, don't worry. there's plenty of dumb to share around
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:23 AM
yeah, i suppose young kids dont even rate that high on the list in the grand scheme
do you think, if we'd had better spawn points, that it would've worked out?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:32 AM
that's a hard question to answer. I'd like to think yes, we always got along very well and had similar interests. but then we also differed on at least a couple of things, like I want kids where you didn't
put it this way, I'm 100% sure there's an alternate universe where we did. perhaps one where I was more mature and brave
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:34 AM
yeah it is a hard question. ive been looking at those a lot lately. and this specific one is all ive thought about for like a week or so lol
also, you can't say you needed to be more mature and brave when i needed to!
i keep getting stuck in the wrong timelines
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:35 AM
it's not the ending that matters most anyway, it's the journey. and I was so lucky to take that journey with you
haha yep I know that feel
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:35 AM
i just dont know how to get out of this one
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:36 AM
no easy answer on that one, I'm afraid. we're all just doing the best we can, and take joy in the small things. for example, even though my workload is killing me at present, I'm happy that our paths have crossed again
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:41 AM
happy but also heartbreaking i guess. i dont even know whats true anymore
part of me feels we didn't really have a lot of the ahrd discussions because of the ocean between. with the ocean probably being teh biggest one of all
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:43 AM
oh absolutely. even if we were in the same counties there wouldn't have been any guarantees. and unfortunately it's not for us to know what would have been, that's the most heartbreaking thing
I honestly think we did well with the challenges we faced. Despite being thousands on miles apart, we had many happy times. That's what I try to focus on. You definitely are responsible for getting me through university, that was brutal af and I wouldn't have survived without you
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:46 AM
i can say that was my happiest time too
you believe in destiny and fate, don't you?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:47 AM
ah that's such a hard question. I think that I do, to some degree. I'd like to think we have free will and choices, but I also do believe there's a general gameplan that's being followed
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:48 AM
then where does the fight fit in. ive been trying to figure it out. when is it the time to call it quits and stop trying or working toward or fighting
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:49 AM
I've always imagined life is like a river, or a series of rivers. the water flows and it is inexorable, there's no stopping it. however, you can fight to paddle in a certain direction, and you can have some amount of control over the branch you end up in. not complete control, but some
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:50 AM
its a nice analogy
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:50 AM
not sure it's correct lol
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:51 AM
do you believe in always fighting for things you want until you get them?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:52 AM
I do, to a point. the world is massive and brutal and you can't win every fight, no matter how hard you fight. but if you cleverly pick your battles and fight those as hard as you can, then yes, you can come out ahead
like I couldn't take down ISIS, no matter how hard I tried. that's not a winnable battle
but other things that are more reasonable, sure, I can and should fight for those
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:53 AM
hmm
so wheres the line of things you should fight for i wonder
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:54 AM
and that's one of those golden questions. and the problem is that the line changes position as well. as you age, gain experience, become unwilling to risk things, etc
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WinterVines 18-May-20 09:58 AM
youre right, risk plays a big part.
whats something you're unwilling to risk?
like one of your uncompromisables
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 09:59 AM
hmm. good question.
at this point in my life, I'd probably say my financial security. I've spent a lot of time and energy getting to the point where I have stable growth and I can deal with whatever emergency bills come my way
but then I can't really think of any situations where I'd have to consider sacrificing that
maybe, like, if I meet a gold digger XD
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:02 AM
one would think that you'd be able to tell right away if you did
i once worried about the opposite of that. that i would be a burden as just a kept woman
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:03 AM
that's a fair thing to worry about. I also imagine that it wouldn't be particularly great for your self-image if you're carrying a self portrait of yourself in that way
I have a simialr wo
I have a related worry in that I don't think I would cope very well in a relationship where my partner made more money than me. sexist and outdated, but there you have it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:05 AM
you would maybe feel differently in a stable relationship. hard to say. a lot of things change when you get some of the baser needs covered
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:05 AM
that's a very good point
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:05 AM
i think i proably based a lot of my likes and dislikes and worries based around what had been exposed to me with charlotte. among other things
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:06 AM
yep, everyone definitely views their life through a filter crafted from their experiences. mostly trauma, if we're being honest
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:07 AM
yeah. a natural inclination to remember the bad things
at the same time, its sort of fun rewriting your own character. when you realize that you can be whoever you want.
did i tell you i cut my hair for a while? its kinda short now. i probably want to go back to long, but it was interesting
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:11 AM
oh no? that's interesting (and surprising) to hear
a lot less maintenance I bet
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:12 AM
i haven't found my style yet still but. i also work in food so it was easier too, not having to put it up, but i miss it. also because charlotte always said never to cut it. and i was tired of listening to that subconscious thought. honestlyit did war with the thought that you liked it long
it didn't look bad, but i think i have a better idea of how i want it to look longer now
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:13 AM
hahaha yeah I have to kinda bite my tongue because I did love your hair long. but it's important for everyone to figure out their own style
I still have no idea what to do with my hair XD I can do pretty decent stubble now but it's such a pain to maintain
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:13 AM
yum a little jawline stubble is amazing
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:14 AM
you need expensive bloody shavers though
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:14 AM
and it was very weird. even if i knew it was silly, even apart i still wanted to be someone you liked
also mens razors are way better than ours btw
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:17 AM
nah that's not silly at all, I made a few decisions based on the same logic XD I'm surprised to hear women's razors aren't as good. razors don't work for stubble though, that's the problem. it's easy to just go smooth with a razor
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:19 AM
true, you need a trimmer thing. idk ive never had to maintain anything. its just smooth or nothing!
whatdo you think is the most important thing in a relationship?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:21 AM
honest communication, hands down
there are so many things that are important, but honest communication is easily the most important
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:22 AM
yeah, i agree completely
and th ewillingness to have those honest conversations even if theyre heavy
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:26 AM
absolutely, part of honest communication is having the more confronting talks as well
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:28 AM
do you believe in compromise or ultimate alignment
sorry im sort of playing 20 questions without saying so lol. trying to be brave. feel free to ask me anything; theres nothing i wont answer anymore
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:32 AM
haha nah it's fine I like philosophical conversation. I'm sorry if I'm late to reply, like I said, work is dumb atm
what exactly do you mean by "compromise or ultimate alignment"?
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:33 AM
like how far do you believe in compromising or do you believe that most things should match up/be similiar
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:35 AM
ah there will always be compromise. I think the ability to compromise is important. but then on topics people feel particularly strongly about, they should be able to draw a line in the sand and say "this is non-negotiable"
like when I moved in with Pete, I was flexible, but the one thing I absolutely had to have was my bird. any place that wouldn't allow her in would not be acceptable
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:37 AM
thats fair. so thats one of your non negotiables
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:37 AM
good point, yes. kyandra is my responsibility so whenever I go, she needs to come with
*wherever
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:38 AM
a responsible pet parent!
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:40 AM
to an extent. I feel very guilty leaving her in her cage for like 10+ hours while I go to work and I really should get her a friend so she's not lonely / bored. but like I said I don't want babies and also birds go the other way frequently too, they can be real bullies
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:41 AM
do birds get along with other animals maybe? i felt that same way about vergil. he lived alone for almost a year/about a year til i got the other cat. i think thats why he started coming to the door when i got home and still does it.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:42 AM
depends really. my last bird got on well with the cat and the dog. but I'm pretty sure kyandra wouldn't, she's a coward. also we're not allowed to have cats/dogs in the current place anyway, I had to ask for a special exception for ky
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:43 AM
at least they said yes. i mean eventually if you buy it wont matter cos its your own space
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:45 AM
yeah that's true. I do want to buy my own place but not until I decide whether I stay at my current workplace or not. last thing I want to do is buy south of the city then win a job up north
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:45 AM
very true. you think the next one will be more contract work?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:46 AM
god I hope not. actually that's something that's changed that I might not have told you, I'm not on contract any more, they put me up to full time
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:46 AM
i figured if you were a team lead that was probably the case
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:46 AM
yeah, it has its positives but also negatives. I need to give four weeks' warning before quitting which is kinda annoying
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:47 AM
a month is okay time i guess
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:47 AM
I suppose, hard to move to another job though. although I suppose that might be the point XD
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:50 AM
yeah. i mean it is every time in general. but they probably dont want people to up and leave so make it difficult. god it seems like im looking for a reason to quit my job if i could. like sometimes i just wanna pack up and disappear somewhere. ideally i think i'd want that financial stability like you talked about, but ive never had that, so a part of me thinks that maybe i should embrace it and roll with it. did some freelance lately that felt pretty good
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 10:52 AM
yeah you said that, it sounded very cool. also stability isn't for everyone, it does lock you right down as well, I have waaaaaay less freedom than I used to
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WinterVines 18-May-20 10:57 AM
that can be okay in the right situation tho. i think im feeling restless and the urge to do something crazy again because i haven't found home yet. def wasn't in michigan. thought it might be here, but i dont think it is. and yadda yadda, where the heart is, all that jazz. but still. nobody here feels like home. its nice to see my friend sometimes, but honestly, she's married and has a kid so she has other priorities. my parents i no longer give a fuck what they tink since they are always lackluster in anything regarding me. so no idea, maybe its time to move on soonish
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:00 AM
oh wow is that the friend who got married? sorry I'm blanking on her name
but yeah it also sucks to be restless atm, what with the world being in lockdown
I've got a bad case of that, really want to do something to break out of the mold but can't go anywhere
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:01 AM
yeah , ronni, the one who's wedding you came to. but that relationship got damaged a lot during the custody battle when i was younger too. she kinda gets it now cos her mom is also pulling some of the same stuff, but it never really recovered
and yeah, im not really in a situation where it would be immediate. like i'd need to sell the house and stuff, but i could feasibly do that in like 6 months probably
well if you need somewhere to go, you could always come here haha.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:06 AM
hahaha same here, it'd be cool to catch up again! also I live in a spider-free part so you wouldn't have to worry about that
"spider free" referring to the big ones, at least
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:07 AM
i think i could be brave. you have no idea how tempting that is
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:07 AM
I do miss the northern US, I would like to come back some day. it was really nice up there
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:07 AM
at any time you are welcome here
i have spiders here--no place is spider free haha. i did kinda freak out for a few days but i squished it
i leave the ones in the basement alone but as soon as they come up here. squish
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:10 AM
hahaha good work! I have a few making webs on the outside of my car atm, I have to clean those off but it's so damn cold atm
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:10 AM
how cold is "cold"
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:10 AM
not your cold XD
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:10 AM
also im surprised they can last in the cold. altho i guess its not sub zero like here
this year wasn't that cold
but we DID get 12 feet of snow at once
lke 4 meters or w/e it is
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:11 AM
oh wow. god I miss the snow
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:11 AM
literally almost as high as i was
everythign shut down for like 4 days
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:11 AM
yeah Google says it's like 47 degrees
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:11 AM
okay, thats beautiful weather
thats teh average here right now during teh day. still freeezing someimse at night tho
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:11 AM
for hanging out, sure! cleaning a car not so much
and I like cold nights so that doesn't bother me
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:16 AM
yeah i cant sleep if im too warm
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:17 AM
same, we had a heatwave here over summer and I had to go out and buy a portable AC unit because I was not getting any sleep
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:18 AM
those are really handy
the house had a gigantic ac unit in the bedroom window but i have a sneaking suspicion that they left it here cos it doesn't work
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:32 AM
hahaha maybe. the house I'm living in is a bit of a shithole tbh, the owners repaired it before moving out but they didn't do a good job. but I'm out from underneath my family and the rent is cheapish and it's only a 5 minute drive to work so eh
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:33 AM
thats pretty great. im close to my work too. unfortunately. ive been living there the last few years. i definitely need to find something new and different. but finding your calling is so hard.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:53 AM
yeah it really is. definitely one of the challenges I've been saddled with, I'm so jealous of people who have found what they love to do. my mate adam was born for technical work and he's excited to go in almost every day and all I can do is shake my fist at him
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:54 AM
yeah haha i feel that. maybe one day. i dont wanna be in the timeline where i never find it either. i wanna jump timelines
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 11:55 AM
if you ever discover how to do it, hook me up
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WinterVines 18-May-20 11:56 AM
sheer force of will
on my good days, i believe i can create the reality i want
average days, even
its all a matter of putting what you want into focus i suppose
ive always just struggled with what i want
for most things in my entire life haha
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:00 PM
life is struggle, for most of us. I just aim to have more good days than bad
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:02 PM
i used to too. but now i think i could handle a few more bad if i get to have some excellent ones. or the ones i want
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:02 PM
that's valuable knowledge to have
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:02 PM
ive already suffered a lot, from myself and outside circumstances. i think i can handle it
after all, if ive pretty much lost a parent, lost myself, and broke my heart, what else do i have to lose? in the grand scheme, everything else is pretty minor
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:04 PM
what's that saying? in order to reforge yourself, you have to break yourself first
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:04 PM
exactly
its a theme of my book
how do you find if you dont first lose
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:06 PM
one of the lines in one of my favourite songs is "you can't truly love until you've given up on it", which I think is related
"you can't feel the heat until you hold your hand over the flame"
things like that
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:08 PM
completely true. also like that whole, if you love them let them go sort of thing. which i have varying stances on depending on the day.
with all the charlotte mess i wasn't sure if i could really love someone the way i think you're supposed to
but i was super happy to be proven wrong
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:12 PM
I'm glad. you definitely got dealt a rough hand. and if I was ever pushy or overly protective, it was because I wanted to try and even that scale
I know now that I can't, but I like to think that my efforts were at least coming from a good place
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:15 PM
nah, i think you did just fine mister. i had never felt as at home and loved than i did when i was with you.
you just didn't have all the information. and i think that caused some tension between us at points
and THAT part is on me
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:16 PM
I also have a tendency to be a peace maker. which isn't always the correct response. in your shoes, I wouldn't have been able to cut contact
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:17 PM
thats why i didn't for years
but she started dragging other people into it, and i think that was the straw
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:17 PM
yeah that's messed up
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:17 PM
i was a peace maker, or at least a follower, for a very long time
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:17 PM
it takes a lot of strength to do what you did as a peace maker
not sure I could
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:18 PM
i doubted myself for a very long time
but every time i heard the words bad child echo in my head
when i think about what her influences cost me
how i lost you because of it
then i said enough
maybe i am a bad child
but i dont play by her rules anymore, whatever that makes me
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:18 PM
you absolutely will not take full responsibility for what happens between us
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:18 PM
nah not full i suppose
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:19 PM
that is something I will not allow
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:19 PM
but it influenced it a ton
made me scared of things i should have just talked to you about
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:20 PM
hindsight is 20/20. you've spent time looking within and made a decision based on what you found. that is honestly so impressive and shows great force of will
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:21 PM
sometimes i can't believe how willfull i can be, like its someone else's life honestly. and then other times i think to myself why am i not doing this.
idk i think tat comes from a low confidence in myself
like yesterday was genuinely surprised people here missed me or even remembered me
and was surprised you were not miffed at me
among other things
i agonized over sending you a message
but sometimes things just work out
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:24 PM
I mean it's a good example of how just reaching out and being honest can have good outcomes. I was never miffed at you, and I've always missed you, and often I've seen you online on steam and wanted to say hi, but I always remembered how much of a tool I was at the end and felt too ashamed to say anything
also I was just terrified of finding out that you hated me. I wouldn't have wanted to have that confirmed. easier to just hide
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:26 PM
i honestly dont remember you being a tool. but sometimes my memory is shit. what i remember is not showing up for you very well
like you needing more support at times when i was adversarional and intimidate when i didn't know how or had other issues going on you didn't know about.
the support thing bugs me a lot because that happened once with ronni too, when charlotte was visiting. and i still feel like trash after it.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:29 PM
eh I remember being overly demanding and even clingy. and while I didn't know exactly what was going on on your side, I tightened my grip for fear of losing you. and then that's what happened. which I figured I deserved, because I kinda knew it was wrong even as I was doing it. fear is a weird thing I guess
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:30 PM
huh, weird. i do remember feeling stressed out over school, but not feeling you were demanding. and i didn't end it because of either of those things for the record. but yeah fear plays a lot into it
i thought you deserved better
i figured the kindest thing would be to set you free and not keep you tied to me
as much as i wanted to keep you
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:32 PM
at the end of the day, what happened is what happened. and what I feel I "deserve" is probably to be alone.
I understand why you made the choice you did, though. and it's good to know that you didn't make that choice out of hatred or anger
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:35 PM
you dont deserve that at all. at all. we're alike on that feeling unfort. never out of hatred or anger
what i should have said was. help i have no idea where my life is going and the ocean is scary but not unsurmountable and ive been harassed and dont know proper intimacy please help and lets talk about it
thats what i shoudl have said
but instead i panicked, assumed i was worthless (can a prude whore be a thing?), and figured i would never amount to anything and just drag our life down
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:38 PM
a lot of that can probably be traced back to the charlotte trauma. for which I will never ever forgive her, not that I was planning to anyway. but let me state unequivocally now - you are not worthless, and you never were
you were my life for... what, seven years plus? and in many ways you still are.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:39 PM
big same
and i KNOW im not worthless or w/e
but sometimes its hard to help what you feel
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:40 PM
oh absolutely
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:40 PM
its just what the brain tells you that day
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:40 PM
monkey brain riding a lizard brain etc
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:40 PM
the harassment had nothing to do with charlotte
other than maybe subconsciously learning that men are in control or like poor self esteem
but that wasn't a her thing. just bad circumstance
but the rest of that shit is a her thing. bad learned habits.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:44 PM
I mean I have my own issues too. definitely on the intimacy front, my upbringing was very restrictive on that front and I didn't know what was proper. and then I wanted to help and provide but I also knew that wouldn't be great for your own self image.
I don't know if I ever told you this
but one time when you were leaving a university class, a guy like tapped you on the shoulder just to say goodbye
and it was all I could do to keep myself from ramming his head into the wall
that is not healthy
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:45 PM
eh i dont know if its unhealthy specifically. very primal maybe
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:45 PM
so I had and still have my own things going on too
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:45 PM
what it speaks to me is insecure in relationship maybe. which woudlve been directly related to our partial intimacy
not gonna lie, there was a reason i didn't bring up the harassment and the extent of it while you were here
i didn't want you to do something that would endanger you unnecessarily
but i felt a lot safer knowing that you get that protective at the same time
honestly, i think the lazy human part of me would not really mind being provided for. but i would feel like i wasn't contributing enough unless there was like clear communication on it
cos like obviously the responsiblities just change around when that happens. like stay at home moms and stuff
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:48 PM
it was probably a good play to not tell me the extent, there are a number of concerning responses I would have employed >_>
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:51 PM
yeah haha maybe one day. and i dont think i was ready to really acknowledge it myself then. which was stupid because hello, relationship. but sigh. what i took away from it was the knowledge that i could ruin his life whenever i watned
maybe not legally, but in all the ways that mattered
and it taught me not to be such a pushover i guess for that stuff. i have zero tolerance if someone makes inappropriate comments or advances toward my coworkers
i dont think your reactions are so unrealistic because i think it depends on where you live. like some places are just legit more violent and dark than others and you sort of have to respond like that or else get messed with
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:52 PM
sorry, hang on, I think I've missed something. I thought you were referring to charlotte's harrassment. someone else was harrassing you?
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:53 PM
oh yeah
sorry, two separate things
yeah, was... harassed is a nice blanket term for it
but i think a lot of the intimate stuff freaked me out because of that.
which would have been fine if i'd been mature enough for a conversation
i felt so safe with you already, it was just my dumb own inner stuff that blocked me
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:54 PM
I... didn't know. I'm sorry. It's definitely good you didn't tell me, I would have probably killed whoever it was. Even now I am literally shaking wirh rage.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:54 PM
esp cos you were always so petrified of hurting me, like when you stepped on my hand when we were camping haha
well dont do that ser. its probably the stupest high road ive ever taken, but i think now its more important to work past it. especially cos there were other factors like medicines and stuff. also age.
but, if you ever wondered why i was a little shy in regards to sex, that was why
that, and charlottes words about getting pregnant and her whole family echoing in my ear haha. could not fall into her trap that way
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:57 PM
wow, I am so sorry, that's awful. I never wanted to be one of those guys who was pushy. I thought it was because you were terrified of falling pregnant, which is 100% valid when there was an ocean between us. I feel really bad if I ever put pressure on you in that way
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:57 PM
well, that was a concern, but not the whoel thing. i never felt pressured from you at all
like i said, you made me feel safe
and i always knew i had nothing to worry about
if anything, it was the conflict of yes/no in my brain. like desire to but worry
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:58 PM
that's good, I'm glad you felt that way. you could always rely on me, and you still can.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 12:58 PM
and when i get conflicted like that, in the past i defaulted to the more practical option. like just in case i did get pregnant and you left me or was across the ocean, i wouldn't be by myself in a situation i couldn't handle
not that i thoght you'd leave me because of that
it was just the ocean
the dang ocean
i rue you so badly
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 12:59 PM
yeah it's a bitch
but I never resented you for that, not even once. I always considered myself blessed for every second we shared
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:00 PM
im glad. i did worry about that a little
especially after it had been years. especially like the second visit especially
part of me feels i should have
not just because of want, but i think it would have helped your insecurity
since no wonder, with all the distance and stuff. i didn't doubt you doubted
and we didn't really talk about it in plain terms very much
because i wasn't telling you all the info
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:05 PM
no, I think you made the right choice. I'm confident there is a universe where we went all the way and you got pregnant and it ruined everything forever.
what I really enjoyed was the positive attention and general affirmation you gave. like, I know it's hard to live as a woman, but guys have it hard in different ways. we never get paid compliments or chased, which is what causes a lot of low self esteem. the bastards out there use it to justify their awfulness. but with you, I never felt that way. even now, a lot of my courage is linked into the stone cold fact that we were together because you wanted us to be
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:07 PM
im glad i was at least semi supportive. i wanted to be more but i was reflecting my own flaws onto you a lot of the time near the end
i think its definitely unfair for guys too
like no wonder some of them act outand be jerks
thats what gets them noticed
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:08 PM
women have it worse, hands down, I'm not making that claim. but in much smaller ways, it is hard to be a guy
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:08 PM
eh, different sorts of struggles. i dont really think it compares
ones a physical struggle and ones a mental
so they're on differetn spectrums
theres a lot of pressure on dudes
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:08 PM
that's an enlightened way of looking at it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:08 PM
everything is on a spectrum
that is my new philosophy about pretty much everything
so you're saying you want to be chased?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:09 PM
it's a good one to have
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:09 PM
how do you know we're not already in that timeline
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:09 PM
hahahaha for all I know we might be!
inb4 you're staring at me through the window XD
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:10 PM
like, say if i showed up in adelaide in about 72 hours...
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:10 PM
but to answer your question directly, I have trouble being assertive because I'm terrified that it won't be received well
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:10 PM
yeah i feel that
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:12 PM
if you showed up in adelaide right now, I'd be amazed how you got past all the lockdown stuff XD and then I would promptly give work the middle finger and spend whatever time was necessary to sort out whatever needed sorting out
there aren't many things I wouldn't do to see you again
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:13 PM
i am on the same wavelength
for all my life i haven't known what i wanted out of it. but you. you are one of those very rare things. and after the hell emotional week this has been on my end, there are few things im not ready to try and work out to make whatever possible
like i said, i need something crazy in my life
told my coworker i might under the tuscan sun it
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:15 PM
in many ways I think the universe hates us, because this is like the worst time in the world for us to be having this discussion. not only is there an ocean between us, there's a plague meaning I can't cross it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:16 PM
a thing ive been doing lately, which strangely enough, sparked from my job and how dumb it is
is look for opportunity in the problems
so for me, the plague means that the stimulus check we got means i can probably pay off my car bythe time the interest returns on my student loans, which means an extra 200 bucks a month
and th eplague meant i did a side hustle freelance thing easier
honestly, if the world takes a few months to calm down, thats just more prep tbh
also my vacation rolls over in july
so post august i have more time. and i still haven't used all my time this year
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:26 PM
honestly, I'm scared. and I think we need to have some serious discussions some time when I'm not being sledgehammered by work. but I'm game.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:26 PM
i agree. im terrified too
but im not backing down from hard convos
not anymore
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:26 PM
same
you are one of those things I will fight for
we need to catch up properly obviously.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:27 PM
yeah, i did't before. but im a different person now
yeah
agreed
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:27 PM
and have some hard conversations.
as adults
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:27 PM
yeah
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:27 PM
but you know what, fuck it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:27 PM
yeah, as financially stable adults
because we're both that now
and that changes things
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:27 PM
we have more experience
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:27 PM
and learned from some mistakes
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:28 PM
and even if we can do this it will be hard as hell. I have a couple of friends in our exact situation
but they're together. they managed it.
it is possible
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:28 PM
yeah. it will be hard. my entire life has been about traveling and distance. so i can do this
im willing to try if you are
thats been the hope i carried all week
(between the low points where i thought i would have to let you go for reals)
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:29 PM
I am willing to try
what do you mean let me go for reals?
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:29 PM
or at least have some conversations
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:29 PM
like in case I had someone?
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:29 PM
like to give up at the chance of you again ever
yeah
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:29 PM
ah
nah
I've seen some people, sure
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:29 PM
or just decided it was too much work or too difficult or too many non negotiables
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:29 PM
that's one of the conversations we need to have
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:29 PM
they are fools for not snapping you up
just so you know, that part doesn't bother me
its been literal years
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:30 PM
I know it wouldn't
honestly it's a sad story anyway
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:30 PM
honestly i assumed you had just moved on
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:30 PM
but one that needs to be told
fuck no
you were kind to do what you did
if you love them let them go
and it was an experience that made me stronger, for sure
but this is an opportunity
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:31 PM
it is
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:31 PM
and I will not be a coward
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:31 PM
its important to identify those and take advantage of them when given
if all else fails
i bet villas in italy are hella cheap rn
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:31 PM
HAHAHA
you can legit buy a castle in france for like $2
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:32 PM
yeah
i mean, its appealing for sure
also scary
but fuck, everything is scary
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:32 PM
yep
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:32 PM
walking to my car is scary
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:32 PM
which it shouldn't be
but that's the world we live in
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:32 PM
indeed not. but duluth and human trafficking ehhh
yeah
i mean some areas better than others
id rather deal with a poisonous spider
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:33 PM
see honestly
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:33 PM
which still terrifies me
but id get over it if i didnt die
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:33 PM
I hear you say that and I'm already mentally planning my itinerary to come pick you up
if I'd known you were being harrassed, I would have dragged you back across the ocean
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:33 PM
that happened before you btw
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:33 PM
I cannot abide that
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:34 PM
but yeah, i believe thta
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:34 PM
I still would have done it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:34 PM
i let myself be protected sometimes. but its important to me to know how to be strong formyself too
running was one of the first times feeling that
so at least now i know i can hit hard and run fast if i get into trouble
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:34 PM
it's a good skill to have
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:35 PM
thats low key why i tried to take judo in college
that style just wasn't my thing
but ive heard there are better ones for people with my build
like lower to the ground sort of thing
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:35 PM
pete's a black belt in wing chun these days, he could teach you 😛
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:35 PM
;o thats dope
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:35 PM
yeah no it seriously is
like he's done the exam to open up his own dojo and everything
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:35 PM
im super impressed by all that sort of stuff
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:36 PM
he's not going to do it but he could if he wanted to
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:36 PM
whoa that would be AWESOME
hey, some of us could use a good side hustle
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:36 PM
honestly, I'm going to model myself on Pete
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:36 PM
he turned out to be a good egg
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:36 PM
because he wanted to get into the video game industry
and I told him, as his friend, give up
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:36 PM
but i dont think you turned out so badly
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:36 PM
it's dead in adelaide
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:36 PM
is it?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:36 PM
let alone australia
yeah
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:37 PM
maybe it is.... for now
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:37 PM
but here's the story
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:37 PM
maybe it needs a good d&d book
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:37 PM
I told him
don't go into video games, you won't get in
he tried for 18 months
and now he's doing it
making mobile games at a company here in adelaide
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:37 PM
fuck i wish i had that sort of longevity
didn't he do like super important government shit before?
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:37 PM
he had a dream and he fought for it when everyone told him not to
yeah he did
he didn't like it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:38 PM
yeah i mean the more i see it
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:38 PM
he wanted to make games
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:38 PM
the more i think you really CAN make what you want happen, happen
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:38 PM
so he bloody went out and did it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:38 PM
see, i have that belief. its just the acquiring a dream is the hard part
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:38 PM
it is
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:38 PM
but i am stubborn as hell
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:38 PM
I remember
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:38 PM
and ive read more self improvement books than most people have fingers
i got knowledge for days
when i get into a bad spell i down those suckers like shots
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:39 PM
XD
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:39 PM
reading a lot of business too lately, lke in the last year
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:39 PM
oooh that's interesting
my work paid for me to study business for a year
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:40 PM
oh nice
honestly, useful for every single job ever
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:47 PM
hahaha I like your status change
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:48 PM
its been a rollercoaster this week. but im determined now
the problem befroe was not knowing where we stood
and its always the unknown that is the worst part. maybe nothing will work out with this after all, but i want to know i gave it all that i had before i give up on you
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:50 PM
yes, we can't be childish going into this. we don't know what will happen. but if you're willing to give this a shot, I am too. I would be so happy if I could change my last memory of you being your back as I walked away
I will do anything to change that
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:50 PM
yeah, that would be nice
i think i weathered the second visit better, but the first one i had to sit in my car 20 mins before i felt safe enough to drive. but i may have also lived in a den of sorrow for a week afterward both times
i dont want that again
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:51 PM
felt safe enough to pick me up?
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:51 PM
to drive myself home
because i couldn't see shit
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:51 PM
oh I see.
yeah the trips back were always rough for me too
nothing like leaving your girlfriend and heading straight into 48 hours of travel where you cannot have more than a minute of privacy
but it was worth it
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:52 PM
yeah, that really sucks
i dont regret the visits at all
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:52 PM
me neither. not a second.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:52 PM
i had some ugly down moments in sadness after, but i weathered those too
made me even happier when i could see you again
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:57 PM
well let's work towards more
I am game.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:57 PM
yeah, me too.
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:57 PM
scared absolutely shitless but game
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:57 PM
i have hope for the first time in a while
just to be doing something i want to
instead of things i feel are forced upon me or expected of me
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 01:58 PM
yeah and that's great
reach for an apple instead of fleeing from the stick
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WinterVines 18-May-20 01:59 PM
yeah, weird analogy that ive never heard haha. but accurate. not fear of the punishment holding you back from the reward
for now, or at least this week, i have weekends off
not sure if plague will change that soon or not. depends on when we open our doors for real. but that lines up with your schedule nicely
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 02:00 PM
yeah I'm happy to chat throughout the workday anyway but I'm usually going in and out of phone calls and meetings and such so. today has been very quiet, thankfully
maybe the universe giving me a break
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WinterVines 18-May-20 02:01 PM
yeah, although with you coming back after a while im sure it'll get busier as you sort things. and wh oknows when my schedule will change but ill take it for now
but youre right in that we need to have some convos when neither of us are at wokr
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 02:02 PM
yes.
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WinterVines 18-May-20 02:02 PM
this in between time will give us plenty of time to think about it
work is pretty boring atm so i have a lot of mental downtime
literally moving books and bookcases like a pack mule
but i probably should get some sleep before work tomorrow. so you have a good rest of your day at work and ill probably catch you tomorrow
prepared to be chased hue hue
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 02:06 PM
yeah I'll be around
hahahaha
bring it on
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WinterVines 18-May-20 02:06 PM
good. be ready
night ser
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ChainReaction01 18-May-20 02:06 PM
night!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 08:28 AM
so what time are you usually at work (for you)? is corona affecting it at all?
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:05 AM
these days I start work at 8:45am (fifteen minutes ago) and knock off at 5:06pm. I did actually work from home for a month-ish, which was enjoyable to start with but then got old super quick. I did the full iso thing, only went out to get supplies, and I had a wicked case of cabin fever by the end of it XD
work isn't super affected by it, at least my online side isn't - in fact, it's a great time to be in the online education business! but I lost all of my team to "restructuring" and now I have to carry way more than my own weight.
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:07 AM
yikes ;[ but you can do it! youre very skilled at what you do. i always figured you would rise the ranks and they'd want to keep you (dont we all heh)
and yeah, a lot of people bought workbooks from us for at home when we were closing down too haha
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:08 AM
haha the problem is that I can't really go any higher without either going into software (gross) or someone leaving the senior management team
which is why I'm kinda contemplating moving elsewhere. but not the best time to do it atm
that's okay though, I have a new priority
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:09 AM
yeha, security is important atm. but someone could leave, you never know
i kept thinking our assistant store manager was leaving soon (she still might, she makes bad choices and has almost gotten in trouble with HR a few times) and i entertained the thought of going for it for more pay (i did a lot of her job when our old store manager, piece of shit that he was, was never there, cos she was doing his job)
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:11 AM
I mean, it's not a bad plan, if it becomes available. corporate stoogeship can be painful and annoying but if you have most of the knowledge and are doing some of the work, you might as well get the pay
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:11 AM
she makes like
10 more an hour than i do
and does so little in the grand scheme. i run a whole damn section that nobody else really knows how to do
and i did all the admin stuff she did previously, like hiring and orientation and stuff
i could use 28 an hour
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:12 AM
yeah, that'd be more than I make!
I'm a smidge over... 30 I think?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:13 AM
jfc
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:13 AM
"jfc"?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:13 AM
i make 18 about. which is a lot but i have lots of student loans
i was swearing lol
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:13 AM
oh lol
I thought so but I wasn't sure XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:14 AM
well i calced my hourly rate when i did writing freelance and it was like 10x more than i make currently, just less of it (project based, that you know well of)
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:17 AM
yeah I bet that was super cool. was it proofing, or ghostwriting, or something?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:18 AM
all of it
but yeah i ghost wrote what was supposed to be a short book based off of sketchy af notes that had so many holes. but it ended up being like way bigger than a novella
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:20 AM
oh wow. so what exactly is "ghost writing"? I have seen it referenced sometimes in, like, fan fiction but to be truthful I'm not 100% sure what it is
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:20 AM
you basically write the entire thing and take no credit but get paid for it
sometimes they pay you for research and stuff too. typically the ghostwriter doesn't do editing and other stuff as well, but ive worked with this lady on other projects before
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:22 AM
damn. your name isn't anywhere, even like on the insert page or anything? that's a bit rough. still if the pay is good then it's probably a fair trade I suppose
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:23 AM
i mean sometimes you can get a mention, but not typically. i worked for peanuts on this project but other ghostwriters can make like 40k for one book
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:23 AM
okay fair enough then, that's a lot!
like, close to what I make in a year ._.
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:25 AM
granted that can take months i guess. and you have to have clients and a good rep. i ... do not have those things. i did not make nearly that much. i wrote for 10 cents a word, which even then took her a bit to agree to
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:27 AM
but you got it though, and you did it! that's so cool, it just adds to your cred as a professional writer
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:28 AM
yeah. i mean she would have let me take credit if i wanted to. but i wanted my name out of it just to keep to the standard. also she wanted some viewpoints in there i thought were a little narrow minded. but not my book soooooo
i keep trying to revive a website and post a lot
but i keep failing and not being motivated. but im trying to get back into it. the license is up soon so ill need to refresh it
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:30 AM
motivation is a hard thing to keep up. I've been trying to write a D&D adventure for years but it's such a large project. like beyond the story and characters and motivations, there's so much balancing math to be done. and then you have to organise artwork. and have the PDF be laid out and proofed properly. so much stuff I don't know how to do @_@
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:32 AM
everything is figure out able!
that was a book i read recently
but thats fantastic that you have a project like that. youll breeze through the math bits no problem too
its just sectioning off pieces towork on at a time
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:34 AM
yeah, you're not wrong. time and motivation are the key issues, as you are no doubt aware. but that's okay it comes and goes, some months I make lots of progress and others I don't. that's life
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:35 AM
and i mean thats not a bad way to do such a big project. been trying to find effort to write my book too. i blitzed part of it during nano a few years back but i really need to go back and do it for real
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:36 AM
baby steps! I like the idea of sectioning pieces off. that's was one part of my business & management course, turn large problems into small problems and attack them individually
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:40 AM
yeah, it really helps. my book is like a collection of short stories so that really makes it a lot easier. its just finding which ones to include and in what order
and then writing the missing ones
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:41 AM
that's a cool way of doing it. could allow you play with different writing styles and points of view and stuff as well. I'd kinda like to read of it some day but honestly I don't know that I would cope
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:43 AM
its not all bad haha. i wouldn't be able to write it if it was just so dark.
honestly you probably know a lot of the info anyway. and some things wouldn't be talked about
like ive never told anyone else about my harassment
you're the only one i felt comfortable enough with for it. def not putting shit like that into the book. book is mostly about charlotte anyway
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:44 AM
yeah fair enough.
you're the only person I've told certain things too. like I haven't told a soul some of things I want to tell you about this weekend.
and I know you probably won't care at all and I'm making mountains out of molehills because I'm really good at doing that but it's something I need to explain
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:47 AM
it matters to you
so its important regardless
im trying to make a list
but i need to conglomerate it cos its fckn everywhere
because ill forget some stuff otherwise
just know that theres very little you can do to make my opinion of you change much
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:51 AM
okay that's good. it's smart to write a list, I wouldn't know where to start XD and it's not something I did, it's something that happened to me. probably vaguely related to the harrassment you experienced tbh. I think it'll be good if I talk about it actually
just so you're warned, I'm... still a bit broken. trying to be better though
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:54 AM
i think we're all a bit broken honestly. im in no way perfect either. but like you said, its important to try and be your best self every day
i think it helped a little to talk about it with you
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:54 AM
yeah that's a good way of looking at it!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:55 AM
someone who i hoped wouldn't judge me and who i knew cared about me
i feel lighter
all that shilly-shallying, you know?
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 09:56 AM
yeah I do, funny how sharing a burden makes it lighter
okay so what kind of new toys has Fighting got? the last thing that I was excited for was Power Up Punch XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 09:59 AM
power up punch is cool. tbh ive only just gotten into it so im not super knowledgeable
but they made a shitton of things TMs now
well, they call them records in game, but theyre tms here. like baton pass, encore, dragon dance
to name a few
theres a couple of new mons. but i havn't seen the ocotpus in action yet. but farfetched evolves into sirfetched now
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:01 AM
yeah I'm still surprised that dragon dance is a TM
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:02 AM
yeah me too
but it means cool stuff gets it now, like hydreigon
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:02 AM
oh wow that is really cool
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:02 AM
hydra gets such good moveset
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:02 AM
hydreigon was so close to being awesome
but he lacked a speed buff iirc
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:02 AM
yeah
tailwind only once MTs came out
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:02 AM
I remember you sweeping with things like energy ball and thunderbolt
wait maybe not energy ball
idr, it was something where I was watching the battle and was like "what, hydreigon gets that?!?!"
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:04 AM
yeah, it gets crazy good type coverage
i just sunk more money into it and didn't even graze its full list
a scrub came by and tried to beat out a bunch of my nukems by 1
so i had to fix that. since between money i had when i left and refunds for moves this gen, i had 400k lol
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:05 AM
wow I heard it was large but 400k is huge XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:06 AM
yeah apparently i had about 200k in my wallet when i left
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:06 AM
I'm not surprised, I think I had a bit above chump change too
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:06 AM
i got to the piont where i didn't know what to EM or want to em anything so it sat there lol. and at that time i was like all the jobs, so i pulled in money from everywhere
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:10 AM
yes, I do recall that
let's have a look...
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:15 AM
do you still have a link?
i had to ask ash for mine lol
you have a bunch of money tho
oh also
contest credits aren't a thing anymore. tey all converted to cash
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:18 AM
wow the link was actually still saved in my browser's memory, that's impressive
yeah 154k isn't too bad
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:19 AM
plus like your 30k cc
all that money for mewtwo XD
thats who im going for too
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:20 AM
right I have a mewtwo don't I?
or did I sell it to someone?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:20 AM
yeah man
you can't haha
they're earned only
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:20 AM
oh okay
honestly I would probably spend most of that money securing my Gallade NUKEM for all time XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:20 AM
didn't you fully EM already?
it only has a couple things left that were new
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:21 AM
pretty close but I assume there's new stuff
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:21 AM
its at like 106 or w/e it is
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:21 AM
ah okay
well I'd like to get metagross too, because he's my second favourite, but metagross is actually good so less chance of that
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:21 AM
its gonna get into the new games in the next dlc i think
and it gets something ridiculous
i want to say its dragon dance
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:21 AM
oh? pray tell
oh wow
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:21 AM
but dont quote me
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:21 AM
yes plz
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:22 AM
its like something dumb haha
also steel beam a new move thats ridicuous too
its like huge bp but does half recoil
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:23 AM
oh kinda like brave bird or whatever it was
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:23 AM
yeah, except stronger and more recoil. but its a special move, which is interesting
so how chatty can i be without bothering you? ive no interest in smothering you, esp if youre busy, and i understand the need for time to be by yourself and not plugged in all the time
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:30 AM
honestly as long as you dont mind if I don't respond for, like, up to an hour then feel free to chat. usually a lot of my work is filled with one minute gaps, while things load and compile, and I fill those by chatting with friends and researching stuff
I have missed you very much and I'm enjoying chatting! but if I get pulled into a meeting or something I just don't want you to think I'm ignoring you
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:37 AM
nah, thats fine. there will be times i dont respond for a bit too. i missed you a lot as well. i can't tell you how many times i imagined my life with you here and went to tell you something but couldn't. i just dont wanna annoy you is all.
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:51 AM
nah don't ever worry about annoying me. and I know how you feel, but for what it's worth, I have resolved to not rue the time we spent apart. it could have been necessary for our own separate developments. I will be looking to the future, not backwards
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:52 AM
im sure it was necessary before. when youre around all i think about is you haha
but thats been nice lately. and yeah, to the fiture
blink by blink. creating the reality i want
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:54 AM
yep, moving into the timeline you want through will
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:55 AM
exactly
im a stubborn mofo. tats one thing charlotte and i shared that i dont mind
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 10:56 AM
it's a great trait to have. and since the bad was thrust upon you, might as well take whatever good came with it
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WinterVines 19-May-20 10:57 AM
yeah. i mean i wouldn't be who i am without it i guess. gives me a different perspective
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:04 AM
different perspectives are always useful, I value them highly, but something I'm no good at is determining which ones are rotten. because some are.
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:05 AM
yeah, some definitely are. we can just do our best. thankfully i think im unlearning some of those dang charlotte things
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:07 AM
recovery from trauma is a long road. I'm very lucky in that my childhood was almost all positive but I have my own stuff to work on. like we all do!
so where is URPG actually played these days? is it on a forum somewhere or is it literally all on discord?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:13 AM
they consolodated all the forum stuff to what used to be pwn and rebranded
and its basically all discord if its not forum posting
and yeah, a lot of my childhood was good really. it only got kinda bad as i grew up and understood more of the implications
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:22 AM
yep the innocence of a child is a powerful shield. pity the world strips that off soon enough
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:24 AM
sometimes super early. it is kind of a shame. but i think it turned out okay
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:34 AM
man i missed you a lot. this is almost surreal
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:36 AM
hahaha yeah it is strange. like I was lying in my bed last night thinking, and it honestly feels like I'm in a different universe already
I missed you too. so much. I wish I'd been strong enough to reach out.
not going to make that mistake again
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:40 AM
we were both saving up for right now
cos just think how awful it wouldve been to do this back in feb
and then corona slams down
but i think you were right before, when you mentioned time away/to the self. i think i did need to process some ofmy inner stuff. but one thing i did not actually come to terms with was letting you go
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:44 AM
yeah it would have made things awkward. but I think you're right. I remember you told me that you needed time to figure out who you were. sounds like you've done that, at least to some extent. and now you've come back into my life, and if you want to be a part of it again, I will fight for that with everything I have
I think it did me good to be apart too. definitely helped me mature a bit
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:46 AM
puts things into perspective XD
but yeah, i mean i think im now of the mindset that who you are changes often and constantly
and im cool with that. gives me and others something to keep discovering about me
i had an idea about this too in relation to the past. but i think that woudl be a better part of our discussion
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:48 AM
okay, save it for then
I am excited to discover things again!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:49 AM
its nothing super big, just an observation that might have influenced my actions a little that i didn't know until years later
yeah me too. about both of us. also who we could be together
so long as you didn't slander my name to all your friends and fam XD
that'll be awks
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:49 AM
nah
of course not
obviously I told them that we'd gone our own separate ways
but never slander. our paths had to diverge
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:50 AM
yeah. i took the responsibliity in ours mostly but also often said about the same
but my dad like a few months ago or w/e when he mentioned you (he liked you btw)
i told him it was my fault and that i ended it
cos i didn't want him to think bad of you
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:51 AM
I'm glad to know he liked me, I honestly wasn't sure
I never told anyone any specifics, I don't think
didn't matter
you were my first real true love, and I experienced so much joy with you. no sense dwelling on how it ended
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:52 AM
oh yeah, wasn't anyones business so i wasn't telling them anything
yeah, for reals
man i feel i hvae so many stories for you haha
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:53 AM
same here!
and we can write our own story now too
I am excited because I always play it safe
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:53 AM
absolutely
yeah same honestly
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:53 AM
I have a chance to do something out of the mold
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:53 AM
let no one in my family write that iw as the boring one
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:53 AM
and I want to
hahahaha
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:54 AM
even if i turn out to the disappointment, at least im not fckn boring
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:54 AM
pfffft. if you're disappointing to a bad person like charlotte, isn't that a good thing?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:55 AM
i think im a little disappointing to the other side too
i stopped caring about charlotte a while ago
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:56 AM
ah I wouldn't worry about the other side
trust me, as the overseas boyfriend, I could see how much wayne and your dad care for you
and for what it's worth you never disappointed me!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 11:57 AM
you are the one who matters
well that and me
myself matters in that respect
but im glad
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 11:58 AM
oh absolutely
people keep asking me why I'm smiling and in a good mood XD kinda embarassing
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:01 PM
nah, thats great! im sure at my work they've noticed im in a better mood too
last week i was worried and distracted but ive been good
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:01 PM
it was weird, I barely ate anything yesterday
usually I have some fruit and stuff throughout the day but I couldn't
nerves I guess
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:02 PM
yeah, i felt that earlier in the week
but then again my diet is pretty boring and samey
this week was soup, taco salad, coffee
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:04 PM
haha yeah I don't eat much interesting stuff. fruit can be kinda interesting I guess. although I do make some pretty good vege burgers a couple times each week
they're my reward for working out!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:05 PM
thats fair
i dont buy a lot of meat myself. expensive and i dont wanna cook it lol. canned chicken once in a while
and i find that hilarious in hindsight
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:05 PM
hm, how so?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:05 PM
past me, you were so dumb
do you remember, when you were visiting i think the first time
and i had like a little mini freak out because our diets were a lot different
and i think inwardly i was panicking a little about like not buying food you didn't like sort of thing
and you were like dude
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:06 PM
vaguely yeah I do remember that
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:06 PM
yeah we were in waynes kitchen
and now i look at it
and our diets likes are pretty similar after all
smdh
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:07 PM
haha yeah that is pretty funny XD
I mean I'm not allergic to meat
chicken nuggets are a comfort food
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:07 PM
and i know why i had that little mini fraek out, but i didn't know why then
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:07 PM
but you're right, expensive and annoying to cook
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:07 PM
yeah, i know you'll eat it. like sausage i presume you still eat too
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:07 PM
I do, although a lot less frequently
I bought a BBQ but havent put it together lol
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:10 PM
i didn't haha. i thought about it tho. i do have a deck here
but now im thinking of other things so
also i dont have a ton fo time to cook
and dont entertain
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:12 PM
yeah big same here. had people over like, four times since I moved out a year ago
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:13 PM
from when i moved in, two augusts ago
i still have beer that my uncle bought in the fridge
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:13 PM
hahahahaha
yep I have a can of stir fry sauce my mother gave me
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:13 PM
like, my uncle hleped me move in and then came by for a visit once
and then wayne stayed for like a week
but other than that, nobody here but me and the cats
nice. i love stir fry. i should make it again. i used to make my own suce actually
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:14 PM
that's cool! I'm no good at making sauces and such. I'm usually too lazy to even put it on pasta salad
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:15 PM
it was rare for me. i haven't made it in a while
the science of cooking alludes me
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:15 PM
you know what one of my favourite meals was?
the huge batch of pasta salad we made together
every time I've made it since, I remember that and smile
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:16 PM
im glad
we did have a ton of good memories
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:17 PM
way more good than anything else. at least from my point of view
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:19 PM
yeah, i agree completely. i look back on that entire time fondly
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:22 PM
same here
nooooo KFC don't send offers to my mobile, I don't need the temptation
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:22 PM
theres literally one
like a mile down the road
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:23 PM
hahaha that'd be like a siren calling out to me
your KFC do wedges instead of chips don't they?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:23 PM
i can't tell if youre using british words or not
they generally do mashed potatoes
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:24 PM
sorry XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:24 PM
its hard to keep all the terms right haha
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:24 PM
if I'm not careful I'll start up the "drahs" debate again 😛
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:25 PM
nah its adding another r
monbrey and eternis do it too
drawering
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:25 PM
hahahaha
it's convict speech, what can I say?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:25 PM
thats how it sounds!
haha
see but i have vocal cues so i can copy your language and blend in
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:26 PM
you're smart in the ways of language
I just try to get along and then stuff like this happens XD
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:27 PM
haha thats hilarious
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:40 PM
so ultimiately do you wanna own a house or an apartment to live in long term?
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:41 PM
no idea atm. long term sure I want to own whatever I live in, but that's long term
vague plan has been to set up a small network of places for investment purposes and then, when I have a reason to settle down, buy a place for that
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:41 PM
yeah, thats fair. the strategy is different wherever you go
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:41 PM
yeah exactly
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:42 PM
i hear back and forth about property and how valuable it is for investing but like, ive really seen it work soem places
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:42 PM
oh it's not foolproof, there's always risk involved with everything you do with money
but I don't trust the stock markets, and returns on bank investments are pathetic
I prefer to put my money into something I can touch
and the view from my apartment is amazing
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:43 PM
yeah
like, stocks take so long and look at right now, they suck
banks take way too long and too much money to be feasible
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:47 PM
yep as soon as anything goes even slightly wrong in the world, the stocks dip and you lose thousands. look at the current pandemic. but the apartment I bought is still there, still being lived in, still earning me north of $400 a week
but then there was the three month period where I couldn't find a tenant and I had to eat the mortgage payments myself
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:48 PM
yeah, that's always the risk. do you do like month to month or yearly contracts or what with it?
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:49 PM
12 month tenancies I go for. sometimes they'll ask for a little less and I'm usually okay with it, because I don't want to be a bad landlord
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:49 PM
tahts fair. most places are a year so its not bad to be standard. month to month is hard becuause you'd maybe go lots of months without a tenant. also attracts ickier people
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:50 PM
yeah exactly. I got this place furnished as well, so usually it's rented out by people from overseas. students coming in etc
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:51 PM
oh, thats a neat perk!
ive never lived anywhere like that
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:52 PM
cool for when people don't have furniture yeah
damn I can't find the photo of the view. oh well
that place has done well for me though. even though the last tenants trashed it on the way out
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:53 PM
oh no
no deposit for them@
i hate that people are like that ho
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 12:56 PM
well they got away with most of their deposit because they moved overseas... but I got about half of the repairs out of them and the other half I claimed on tax so eh
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WinterVines 19-May-20 12:57 PM
at least you got some of it. i'd be worried about that. i consdiered that when i leave here maybe keeping it to rent out, but idk
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:00 PM
yeah I dunno how that would all work. theoretically as long as you charge more rent than the mortgage it's fine, as long as the place doesn't need any major repairs
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:01 PM
yeah, i mean i dont really have a huge savings back to repair major things, but ive replaced the windows. it coudl use siding bu then it'll sell for a lot more than i paid for it
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:06 PM
renovations are an area I don't know very much about, I'm afraid
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:06 PM
me either! mostly theyre just ones to pay for lol
i can prob do small things. but siding on a 2 story house, nada
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:12 PM
yeah entirely fair there. I doubt I could wield a hammer without hurting myself. I'm good at smaller repairs though!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:13 PM
i feel being a property owner sort of demands learning some of those things haha. i wish power tools didn't freak me out so much cos i could probably get a whole lot more done
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:14 PM
you're not alone there, I hate using dad's power saw and stuff like that
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:14 PM
ye. ronni almost cut her pinky off with the ban saw in shop class in 7th grade
my dad and i cut a countertop ourselves when we put in my second cabinet run, and i was terrified cos i had to hold it enough to not drop it on myself or pinch the circular saw blade
but i fckn did it cos i am a badass. sometimes.
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:21 PM
most of the times!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:24 PM
haha if you say so! i try anyway, at least to be cool to myself XD
one fo teh weekend days, ronni wants me to come over so ill probably do that, but i also have a longer weekend this week because memorial day is on monday and we're not working. im looking forward to our conversation even if it might be hard
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:26 PM
we'll sort something out, it'll be fine
I don't even know what I have planned this weekend, I don't think much
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:27 PM
and because i work slightly later in the morning/more off days this week, i can adjust my schedule too, since thats easier for me to do. since i dont have a roomie haha
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:28 PM
hahaha tbh I think you could move in with me and Pete wouldn't notice XD
he's a great guy but his mind is always elsehwere
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:28 PM
haha fair. and he prob focuses a lot on work? if i recall youve mentioned that in the past
ive at least talked to him before, once upon a time
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:28 PM
yeah I think so. I'm not sure. he's so hard to read
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:29 PM
i mean my mind is always elsewhere too because i talk to myself but
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:29 PM
but he's a gem. I had a really rough week a couple months back and he bought me some snacks and talked it out with me
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:29 PM
aw, thats great
one of my current coworkers is like that too. shes real supportive
its strange tho. shes only 5 years older than me but like we're totally on different levels
shes got kids and her husband is in the coast guard, so they moved here last july
but shes like one of my best friends
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:29 PM
that's awesome though!
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:29 PM
we're also liek the same person
its almsot scary
the timeline diverged slightly, but we are basically the same from alternate paths
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:30 PM
wow that is a bit spooky
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:30 PM
and now our new boss
mixes up our names a ton LOL
and he swears up a storm every time
its hillarious
cos her name is kassidy
shes one of te merch managers
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:34 PM
hahaha awks!
kassidy with a k too, that's cool
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:34 PM
the best letter
/not biased
like usually whenever i wonder something about her i just think of my own answer to teh question and im usually right lol
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:35 PM
hahaha that's so cool though! my brother ethan and I are kinda like that, very similar people in lots of ways. although he's a hella player
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:35 PM
like a ladies man sort fo player?
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:35 PM
oh yes
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:36 PM
weird
like that skill is beyond me
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:36 PM
which surprises me a lot
but he's just a charismatic guy
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:36 PM
yeah, some people are like that
people just fall into them easily
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:36 PM
he's always in the middle of the group at parties
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:36 PM
ick
no thansk
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:36 PM
XD same here
I'll be hanging out with the cat in one of the side rooms
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:37 PM
yeah. i like to watch whats going on but no need to be at the center of it all
aight, ive started my list. can't remember half te shit i thought of earlier today, but its started! but i should probably head to bed. longer day tomorrow
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:43 PM
sure, have a good night, chat tomorrow hopefully?
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:43 PM
ill be here when i get home from work def
youre my new project remember. can't chase you if i dont put the shoes on
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:44 PM
hahahaha
mfw I don't plan on running that fast
sleep well
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WinterVines 19-May-20 01:44 PM
thats okay, im pretty speedy and stamina'd these days!
night ser~
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ChainReaction01 19-May-20 01:44 PM
night 🙂
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:13 AM
hi! how was your day?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:15 AM
good morning
was okay. i was moving the sci-fi/fantasy books around and we're recategorizing them
im choppin some veggies for dinner now. why do potatoes take so long to cook @_@
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:17 AM
potatoes do take a long time to cook. how are you cooking them?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:19 AM
in a casserole. my oven doesn't like potatoes. but they're nummy
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:20 AM
oh yum! my oven is pretty trash too tbh. the best hot plate doesn't turn on until you're fired it like 5 or 10 times
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:23 AM
yikes. my burners work pretty well thankfully, except one that i have to light by hand sometimes. but the oven i haven't gotten used to yet. didn't really use it a ton but ive been cooking more, trying to be more responsible and all that fun stuff. this bake is a simpler one that kassidy made for easter, cos we spent it together. her husband was away on duty for like a month, and her kids were quarantined out of state so she was alone. not that i ad any plans. dad and sue didn't invite me out or even talk to me much that week outside of ME wishing THEM happy easter lol. my first friend-easter! i wanna do a friendsgiving and friendsmas one day too
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:24 AM
friend holidays sound like a great idea!
friendsgiving seems particularly apt
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:25 AM
yeh, way less drama, and thanksgiving is one of those minor holidays anyway
idk i just get tired of going to that house and then its all drama with sues kids and THEIR kids and idk. i think i feel the pressure from lack of that kind of family/relation/etc of my own. even like ronni is generally busy with her husbands family
but sues family annoys the shit out of me, so
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:29 AM
I get where you're coming from. it's a rough situation. I really want to empathise and provide advice but on this one I can't be much than a listener I'm afraid
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:30 AM
im not too much bothered by it. i just dont like going there for holidays and would prefer to do other things haha
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:32 AM
understandable! families shouldn't tie you down anyway, the whole point is to leave and make your own life
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:33 AM
yeah, i think thats the underlying thing there. a lot of them have went on and did their own thing (or the exact opposite, which also annoys me lol dang freeloaders) and i have not yet but feel i should. who knows! but i didn't notice right away until i started dreading going out there
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:34 AM
knowing is the first step
and it's not like you've had so much help or leeched off anyone for a head start anyway
I also do not approve of freeloaders
I can see my brothers turning into freeloaders and I hate it so much
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:35 AM
yeah. i mean i lived with wayne for a while but i paid like the water bill and bought my own food and stuff
yeah, thats tough. esp if you have a parent who feeds into it
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:36 AM
yeah nan's pretty bad about it
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:36 AM
like dad was always annoyed becca was there for years, but sue just let it
so i thought of a thing, for our discussion
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:42 AM
oh? do I get a sneak preview?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:45 AM
yeah its just like a policy. like im going into it with absolute honesty. like whatever you ask, ill answer. and ifi dont know an answer ill do my best to explain that too. so dont be afraid to ask anything. and that we don't assume any answers from each other unless the question is asked and discussed. cos answers in the past may not necessarily be the same now, etc etc
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:46 AM
I think that's a fantastic policy to have. ditto for the part about not assuming answers. we do have history but we need to discuss things afresh with our added experiences and wisdom. I will absolutely be following the same policy
I've been trying to write a list of things to discuss myself but honestly it all kinda boils down to like three points
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:48 AM
yeah there are some big points
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:49 AM
we'll get to them, when we are both free. I really want to have this discussion. I am so tempted to fake a headache and go home so we can have it but my work ethic is figuratively nailing me to my seat
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:51 AM
haha, theres no rush. i'd liek to be rested as well, or at least be able to stay up as late as necessary without having to worry about work
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:54 AM
yeah that's a good idea. also if it's okay I'd like some of it, at least my part, to be IMs instead of voice - not sure that I could tell my part verbally. which makes it sound worse than it is but hey I've been repressing this for a few years now, I can be a wuss about it if I want!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:56 AM
thats okay, if youre more comfortable that way, thats totally cool
i wouldn't make fun of you if you cried either!
because ive totally cried a little this week
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:57 AM
that's good to know, and a little relevant
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:57 AM
was a good motivator
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:57 AM
good stress release too
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:57 AM
yeah, definitely can be
also draws the line on what you feel abou some things
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 09:58 AM
oh absolutely, you cannot ignore your own physical reactions
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WinterVines 20-May-20 09:58 AM
indeed. it helped me sort some stuff out
so now that you lead a team, what more do you do?
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:12 AM
well back when I had a team, I implemented a "triage" system, which is where we'd have an informal gathering two or three times a day to divvy up tasks and request help from each other where necessary. fostered a real team environment, like we're here to help each other but also not stepping on each other's toes. I also get to do more technical things which is great fun, like poking at databases and stuff
unfortunately, we've recently released a whole new version of the system and I loathe it. with a burning passion.
fair warning, no small number of new stories I have will relate to how much I hate the new system
but when I actually get to do fun stuff, it's pretty great! like system diagnosis and stuff
they throw me at problems they can't figure out and then wait for me to come back telling them exactly how I broke stuff
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:14 AM
oh thats really cool. i love being a problem solver at my job
as shitty as the last store manager was, he did tell me what he liked about me was that i could problem solve on my feet and often had a solution in mind when i brought up a problem
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:15 AM
problem solving is so great, it's what I enjoy most about my role. what kind of problem solving do you do at B&N? stock-based or staff-based stuff I'm guessing?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:17 AM
well when we dont have plague i do the coffee and food portion. so a lot of it is X product is out, so ima do this to try and get it, or like equipment. and sometimes people or bookfloor stuff. like one time the fridge door broke off and we had to jimmy rig it to stay shut so the stuff inside didn't go bad
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:18 AM
ah, practical problem solving, good stuff! my problem solving is always just some derivative of "some stupid virtual thing isn't doing the exact thing I want it to do, which of the gremlins powering it has gone walkabout"
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:19 AM
that can be a fun hunt tho too. lately honestly i feel more challenged by the remodel we're doing on teh bookfloor. like trying to figure out how to efficiently move books so you dont have to move them 20 times and kill your knees and back haha. i wore a hole into my jeans that wore a hole into my knee, too
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:21 AM
that would be a good problem to solve. something that actively helps people and reduces the risk of injury
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:22 AM
and its just unfamiliar territory for me. plus a lot of practices and policies are changing, and some of the core crew staff thats left are super hesitant and combative. but i like pretty much all the changes
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:36 AM
people are often resistant to change because they don't like change itself. I would know, I'm one of them! but change shouldn't be resisted for no reason. one of the things I'm really proud of is I no longer instinctively react negatively to change, I take the time to catalogue how I feel about it before doing or saying anything
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:37 AM
thats a huge accomplishment. The old people at my work haven't grasped it yet haha. i like change i think. or at least trying new things. idk i feel like my life gets in these negative ruts otherwise, like i haven't found the right tracks yet
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:39 AM
I mean, life is change, almost by definition. and you're right about avoiding negative ruts, I've been in a few throughout my life because I'm quick to fall into a stable routine. stable routines aren't bad in and of themselves, but things do need to be kept fresh
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:40 AM
yeah you're right. ive read thats why some people end up breaking up because they let their relationship get that way too. but even tiny things can really brighten a boring thing up a lot. or just changing one thing out of order or whatnot
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:41 AM
absolutely! go on a holiday even if it's just a drive. rework the flow of the rooms in your house. go out to a local market or play instead of yet another night watching netflix
it's a bit embarassing but there are a whole slew of dumb small things I always wished we'd been able to do, things like that
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:42 AM
yeah, big same. especially now that im out from a parent's nose and space. and some of those things i could do myself, but they just aren't the same
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:46 AM
they are definitely not the same, completely agree
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:50 AM
man im excited for this discussion but also hella nervous too. thats probably just my low self esteem talking but dang
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:51 AM
uh I feel exactly the same. super nervous but I have never wanted the weekend to come so bad in all my memory
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:52 AM
ikr! usually im like time passes too quickly, slow down! but last week was teh same where im impatient lol
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:53 AM
good things are worth waiting for!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:55 AM
indeed! still impatient though haha.
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 10:57 AM
yep. I know we have lots to talk about and it won't be all pleasant but I still want to do it despite (or perhaps, in a weird way, because) of that
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WinterVines 20-May-20 10:59 AM
yeah i get that. sometimes i crave a hard conversation i think because those are real and honest and mean something. a lot of conversation i hear is pointless
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:01 AM
oh I completely agree. one of the reasons I love my company functions is everyone (well most people) get a bit tipsy and you can have some real d&m conversations with the usual barriers lowered
that's how I found out that one of my projects made the company $500k XD
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:03 AM
whoa, thats amazing!
and yeah, thats one of the few times i can get my dad to release info too is when hes toasty
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:04 AM
I don't particularly approve of getting drunk for drunk's sake - I've had a couple bad experiences - but I do think that a little bit to take the edge off is okay in safe circumstances
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:06 AM
yeah, i agree. im a super slow drinker when i do, but ive never been drunk or even slightly off kilter. never felt safe enough really in any situation. i always wanted the option to leave or at least be in control of myself fully. leftovers of charlotte and harassment probably! but i do love me some good kahlua
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:13 AM
that's understandable. also you're a sensible person which is a great way to be. for what's its worth I do not recommend the experience of being drunk, it's basically just a slippery slope from feeling fun and chatty to going too far. I've never had a hangover though, lowkey proud of that
for me I have a few ciders from time to time but that's because I like the way they taste, not the alcoholic content. fizzy apple juice, yum!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:14 AM
i still haven't fckn had a cider. and ive wanted to for years! ever since you first brought it up!
i did try the apple ale stuff tho. was okay. notmuch of a beer drinker
also i hate headaches and feeling nauseous so maybe thats another reason why i dont drink much XD
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:17 AM
yeah I don't love beer. cider is almost as socially acceptable for guys to drink though so it's what I go with
oh yes I remember that you got wicked headaches sometimes
you got one after driving up to your dad's place, and you went straight to bed, and I spent a couple hours sitting with him
was kinda expecting to be shot XD
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:18 AM
fewer of them now! which im happy to report. and i think a lot of the issue, that issue in particular maybe, was tha i didn't drink enough water. cos we were in th car and dind't want to stop to pee haha
and nah, dads never really used guns. waynes the more likely one to have done so!
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:18 AM
oh I know
trust me
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:20 AM
heh. i wonder what he would think of all his. maybe ill ask him one day. he always seemed to be the "whatever you wanna do, brat" sort of mindset
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:23 AM
I'd value his input, he was always clear that the most important thing was that I respected you
like, your opinions and decisions were what he would base his opinion of me off, if that makes sense
and that there was a gun around if he needed one XD
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:24 AM
yeah
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:24 AM
I liked wayne
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:24 AM
i do not doubt that he would say something like that to you. its very him
i was his only daughter really after all
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:25 AM
well from what limited interaction I had with him, I think he did a great job. and it was obvious that he cared about you
we emailed a couple times too I think
way back in the day
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:26 AM
yeah, we went through a lot of shit togeter too. charlotte broke his heart really. he was ready to give her the world and exactly what she wanted. like a farm, etc
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:34 AM
that's sad. she has a lot to answer for
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:34 AM
yeah. one day, maybe. i doubt she'll change her ways tho. my jerk computer shut down suddenly and now the laptop won't open discord
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:37 AM
oh no D: yeah she probably won't. but I believe in some system that vaguely approximates karma. I have to lol
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:38 AM
yeah, otherwise there is no justice!
maybe in another life or timeline. or maybe she'll come around on her own. probably not based on the last message i got from her but she could yet. still dont wanna hear from her tho
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:39 AM
maybe. have to wait and see I guess.
ugh I'm flagging something fierce, I had a rotten night, been awake since like 3:30am
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:43 AM
oh no. any reason why?
usually my end of the week is like that cos im so tired
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:44 AM
not any particular reason that I'm consciously aware of. just woke up, tried to get back to sleep for an hour or so, looked at my clock and saw "4:30" and I was liek alright might as well be productive
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:45 AM
i have days like that. especially now that teh sun comes up earlier. i tend to get up earlier even on my off days
do you get sinuses at all?
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:45 AM
not usually but now that you mention it I did actually have a blocked sinus this morning, maybe that was it
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:46 AM
could be! i get sinus headaches from changing seasons or air pressure or w/e
what in the world. my laptop shows im connected to the internet but its not going
well isn't that the wildest thing ive ever seen. my net is working but laptop tells mei can't connect to it. well why not @_@ gonna restart the router
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:52 AM
okay yeah that's weird. good luck!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:52 AM
i am not smart with tech things!
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:53 AM
eh all we tech nerds ever really do is reboot things until they work
or tell you you're doing things the wrong way lol
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:53 AM
blast
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:54 AM
you still have discord working though? is it webpages that aren't loading or something?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:56 AM
im on the tower
for this. its the laptop that is being a brat (edited)
huh i really dont know why the laptop wont connect
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:58 AM
oh I see. um obviously reboot laptop first lol. then open up the command line and type "ping google.com -t" I think it is
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:59 AM
okay! ive restarted a bunch of times and reconnected to the wifi
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 11:59 AM
okay
the gremlin wanted a rest I guess
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WinterVines 20-May-20 11:59 AM
oh nah i mean
i tried disconnect and reconnect
also im dumb
what is the command line
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:00 PM
right. is there anything else you can try connecting to the wifi? like a phone or nintendo or something?
uh type "cmd" into windows search or whatever it is
should be like a black box icon
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:01 PM
my phone works, altho idk if its using data as backup
it says ping request could not find host google.com
maybe i didn't type it right but ive tried a bunch fo diff ways
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:01 PM
no that sounds right
that's most likely good news, means it's not some low-level architecture problem
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:02 PM
whew
oh i forgot i can open the netwokr thing. maybe i can run a test there
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:02 PM
okay if you have some other device that can use the wifi then we can narrow it down to the laptop
yeah try running the auto-fixer thing
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:03 PM
"your network isn't automatically set up to this wifi" well is fckin WAS
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:03 PM
hahaha ffs
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:03 PM
hmm. it says
"a network cable is not properly plugged in or may be broken" as detectedbut its wifi...? and then it says "this computer is set to manually connect to my wifi name" and fixed
i jiggled the cords when i reset. i wonder if the cats bumped something
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:04 PM
if it's fixed now then maybe?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:04 PM
well something came up on the ping tab. but nah, its back to no net again
hmm
obviously its not the net itself cos the tower works
its hard wired tho
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:05 PM
sometimes they say "network cable" but actually mean "wireless adaptor"
could be the wireless card in your laptop going
is the laptop warm?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:05 PM
but its new
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:05 PM
oh then it shouldnt be that
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:05 PM
no, doesn't feel warm
i haven't had the computer like maybe a year if that
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:05 PM
yeah you should be fine then
did the problem detector thing talk about anything else?
cos it could be, like, an IP clash but those are annoying-ish to resolve
also I have no idea why it would happen
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:08 PM
no, just those two things i meneioned
and like suddenly out of the blue. when i use them all the time
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:10 PM
can the laptop detect the network? like is it an option when you search for wifi? or is it not seeing anything at all
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:11 PM
yeah it detects it
just says i can't connect to it
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:11 PM
alright that does kinda sound like an IP clash
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:11 PM
wait okay now theres a new problem "wifi doesn't have a valid ip configuration"
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:11 PM
AHA
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:11 PM
but it also says fixed after
i also still dont have net lol
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:11 PM
try going back to the cmd thing and type in "ipconfig /flushdns"
without the quotes
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:12 PM
okay successfully flushed
🚽
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:12 PM
hahaha
now try connecting again
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:13 PM
that its takening this long is ill bodeing
i dun get it. restarted again, claimed there was net. and now there is not again
would it be something on my internet's end maybe?
hmm can't be. the switch is still connected
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:18 PM
it's not impossible there could be a problem on your ISP's end, but it sounds like it's something to do with the laptop itself
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:18 PM
now its "the default gateway is not available"
but it says thats fixed
but clearly it is not!
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:19 PM
it reeks of an IP issue, your laptop is trying to use a certain number to connect but something else is already using that number
flushing the dns should fix that problem, but I guess it hasn't?
can you try hotspotting your phone and connecting the laptop to that?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:20 PM
hang on the diagnostics are doing something. also idk if my phone can be a hotspot
oh hey, it ran that troubleshoot twice
something on google search came up
maybe its working now
@_@
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:20 PM
hahaha
try the ping thing again
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:20 PM
nah it quit again. weird
could not find host
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:21 PM
it definitely feels like something is interrupting the connection
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:21 PM
i mean the router has worked for years but maybe its just old?
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:21 PM
not impossible. I'd kinda expect your other devices to have issues though
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:22 PM
yeah same. but i hope its not the laptop. its newish 😭
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:22 PM
alright, on your tower, can you open up a web browser and go to 192.68.1.1?
that should be the address for your router
or maybe 192.168.0.1
sorry, 192.168.1.1
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:23 PM
will the tower be able to access it if it doesn't use it?
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:23 PM
if it's connected to internet you should be able to access it
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:23 PM
well i guess there is another equpiment piece
it says no
can't be reached
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:23 PM
bugger
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:23 PM
oh weait
wrong nubmer
you added a 1
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:23 PM
yeah sorry
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:24 PM
its asking for a username and passweord
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:24 PM
yeah okay that's the right page. I dunno what the details are but if it's base then I'd guess "admin" and "admin"
those details might be on the router itself
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:24 PM
its not my router deets?
like i know the wifi connection passweord
not the user tho
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:24 PM
nah not the connection password, that's different, these are admin login keys
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:25 PM
are those things different?
o
admin did not work haha
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:26 PM
haha probably for the best. honestly without being able to see your screen it's kinda dangerous poking around in there anyway, I was just hoping the router had stashed a certain number for your laptop and we could clear that out
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:26 PM
idk why it woudl be so suddenly
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:26 PM
yeah this is why I bailed out of computer networking, it's honestly a shitshow
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:26 PM
rip
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:26 PM
things work 99% of the time, sure, but the 1% things break for literally no reason
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:27 PM
yeah maybe its like
the temperature of the air
or the direction of the wind
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:27 PM
if it's any consolation, it'll probably work fine tomorrow after whatever bookmark that's been added has expired
I reckon some kind of temporary address lease has corrupted somewhere, but those leases expire very quickly
its weird that it sometimes works for a little bit and then dies
that's almost always some kind of IP issue
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:29 PM
that made very little sense to me but ill take your word for it! whats weird is that iw asn't on anything
just discord
but its gotta at least work by the weekend or else i dont have a mic. the one on my headphones doesn't seem to work on the tower or thru discord
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:33 PM
I wouldn't worry just yet, I'm fairly confident that it's a temporary network issue. turn the laptop off and don't plug it into any power sources and then try again tomorrow
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:33 PM
no power sources? what does that do to it?
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:34 PM
sometimes network issues are caused by corrupted files and those files are kept alive as long as the battery is active. so if you drain the computer (or at least deny it access to mains power) one of the first things it drops is the corrupted files. then it'll go to fetch new ones which should be proper
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:35 PM
hmm interesting
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:35 PM
fixing network issues is like 30% witchcraft tbh
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:35 PM
i mean i guess i didn't need a reason to dick off for the next hour, but now ill really not get any work done!
haha
i thought it was an issue with discord at first
so i uninstalled and was trying to reinstall when i noticed the net was out
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:37 PM
it's weird, I'll give you that. I had an almost identical problem once but that was because the cord connecting my tower was fraying on the inside
took me ages to figure that one out
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:38 PM
i mean. i looked at teh cords in case vergil chewed on them
but all of them look fine
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:38 PM
nah if your tower is connecting fine it won't be the cords
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:39 PM
the laptop just really doesn't like the net tonight i guess
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:39 PM
I'd put my money on either a corrupted network file or some physical-level issue
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:39 PM
my internet did add a "wifi charge" about 9 months ago to my bill. maybe its a conspiracy
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:39 PM
haha maybe!
two agents in a secret space station look worryingly at each other
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:40 PM
lol
maybe the internet company is shutting my wifi off after a certain time
i could see them doing something dirty like that
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:40 PM
maybe, but the switch is still connected isn't it?
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:41 PM
hmm yeah true
i really hope its not an issue with the computer itself just suddenly out of the blue
i wonder if the potato has a built in mic. or if it could run discord...
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:42 PM
discord has a phone app too, I use that on occasions
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:42 PM
i probably dont have room on my phone
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:42 PM
ah okay
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:42 PM
unless it can load onto the sd card
cos the stupid phone memory takes up like the whole thing
or other apps i can't get rid of and take up space even if theyr eoff
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 12:43 PM
yeah I hate that stuff
all this third party samsung fitness rubbish I can't get rid off
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WinterVines 20-May-20 12:44 PM
yeah, i ahve a samsung too
its so stupid
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:02 PM
and for once, happy to head to sleep soon because that means another day!
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:03 PM
yep! I've been going to bed so early haha. that might be the cause of my rough morning, although 9:00pm isn't really that early for me
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:03 PM
maybe. ive been edging it to like 11 these days, which IS odd for me. but we dont start work til like 9 now, so ive been waking at 630ish only
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:04 PM
ah yeah makes sense, less hours due to the plague. that happened to a few of my friends
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:05 PM
i mean its still 8 hrs for me, so i dont care too much. i get more of the day to myself
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:06 PM
makes sense. they pushed my shift back half an hour not too long ago which is mildly annoying because it means I get to start relaxing later. but oh well, nothing can be done about it
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:07 PM
oh thats true. i guess i get home kind of late too. but better than getting up at 430 because i have to. i did get up at taht time on purpose for a while, and then they moved my work schedule up so i had to and stopped liking it so much haha
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:12 PM
hahaha yeah super early starts aren't the most enjoyable
I like waking up around 7ish though. enough time to rouse myself properly, not throw myself into a car with toast in my mouth
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:13 PM
yeah, i dont like being rushed to leave, so id rather get up earlier
well, heres to hoping my computer behaves tomorrow! i should probably get ready for bed
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:23 PM
okay, i'll keep my fingers crossed. have a good night!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:24 PM
thansk. you too. smile a little cos you're great at your job! also feel thoroughly chased 👟
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ChainReaction01 20-May-20 01:24 PM
haha god I missed you
see you tomorrow!
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WinterVines 20-May-20 01:24 PM
see you tomorrow~
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:14 AM
do you get regular raises? i think they're gonna skip ours this year because of corona rip.
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:18 AM
I normally do but yeah they've told us there's a wage freeze until september at least. my scheduled raise is in september XD
they upped me by two grand last year though, not sure if that's good or not but it felt pretty generous at the time
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:21 AM
two grand a year?
mine was supposed to be in april lol
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:22 AM
yeah two grand a year
sounds kinda nice but it doesn't really add up to much on the wage payment I guess lol
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:22 AM
thats only like 38 dollars a week extra
but thats still soemthing!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:22 AM
better than nothing
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:23 AM
how was your night?
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:24 AM
it was pretty good thanks! I stomped some annoying decks in MtG which is always a great feeling and then slept straight to 6am. how'd your shift go?
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:26 AM
went fine. nearly done moving books and i can't wait @_@ ive been a little bit sore. and it was too dang hotin the store today because our heat/cool is controlled remotely by a company in florida, and they never listen to our requests to adjust the temp, so the heat is still on
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:27 AM
oh wow, is that a common thing? that AC isn't controlled on-site?
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WinterVines 21-May-20 09:29 AM
no, its a penny pinching thing ;/
barnes and noble was almost bankrupt
so they basically did a bunch of stuff that ultimately didn't work to try and save money
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:34 AM
ah I see. well we have in-office AC controls and there are frequent fights over it so I'm not 100% sure what's better XD
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 09:41 AM
so how'd you end up going with the laptop?
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:03 AM
wow discord, big fail
the laptop worked fine when i tried it when i got home lol
stupid finnicky thing
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:04 AM
yep that almost 100% means it was just a temporary IP clash. happens for no reason and will probably never happen again. computer networks are held together by the virtual equivalent of rubber bands and chewing gum
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:05 AM
good to know. i mean it sort of gives them a personality of sorts. but its annoying as shit
thank you for reassuring me! haha. do not want to get rid of this thing until i ahve to
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:09 AM
yeah for sure, my laptop is starting to die on me. touchpad and keyboard fail randomly and I have to reset them. been saving up for a new one actually - but I'm silly and want an expensive one so it's taking a while...
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:12 AM
haha well i mean if youre gonna make use out of it, why not. especially if youre not a lavish spender normally.
treating yourself is a thing!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:17 AM
yeah it's true, I usually squirrel away all of my earnings. my idea of "splurging" is, like, a $3 loaf of crusty bread...
but then I'm honestly happy with a simple life, I don't need super expensive things. well except my gaming rig but I dropped like 3k on it seven years ago and it's still running games on high graphics so that was a great investment imo
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:21 AM
yeah, thats a fantastic purchase. i mean if the specs are good enough there's no need to upgrade. i dont need much either. i dont go out or any of that stuff often and material things have started to mean less and less
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:31 AM
note to self, showering you in riches will not work 😛
man I hate it when I answer the phone and they go "it's me again!" bitch please I've taken ten calls today, I don't remember who you are
bonus points for their last call being from, like, tuesday last week
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:32 AM
lol yeah, we get customers like that
theres this dude that calls every day ordering a CD but something is wrong every single day. and you can't understand a word he says
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:34 AM
ugh those are the worst
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:34 AM
they dont think of that kind of stuff unfrot. customers are icky
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:35 AM
yeah. I don't mind when they email me. I can take my time to investigate and respond and provide them with pretty highlighted pictures to show them what they're doing wrong. phone calls are yuck though
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:36 AM
yeah, cos they want an immediate answer but sometimes it takes some digging. like a lady the other day was like i got charged shipping but im a member and shouldn't have. so i looked up her order and it only shows me subtotal. i ask her what she was charged, she tells me. i look at it and go, ma'am, that's the tax
and she's all unconvinced. "it doesn't say tax on it" and i ask about her recipt "i didn't get one"
so i had to go to the back to look it up and confirm
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:37 AM
ugh, people
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:38 AM
but i called her and left a message saying yeah, it was the tax. cos i was fckn right and it WAS
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:38 AM
good, get your win!
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:39 AM
yeah, unfort when with customers its more about being empathetic than being right. which is silly. customers aren't always right!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 10:40 AM
no they are not. something I really like about working here is the big bods care more about us staff than clients. like sure we have to suck up to them but if they're cruel to us personally the ceo will call them and tell them to fuck off and find another distributor
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:42 AM
thats really neat. this company has not had that same loyalty. they were more likely to turn and burn employees rather than develop or teach or anything. i need to get into a better business!
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WinterVines 21-May-20 10:59 AM
this weekend needs to get heeeeeeere
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:03 AM
ikr! time passing so slowly ;_; just a matter of finding the time haha
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:06 AM
is there a day that works better for you? i think ill be able to really any of the days
like my friday night is your saturday morning i think
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:07 AM
yeah that's how it works I think. it doesn't bother me, I have zero plans this weekend, I just don't want to get in the way of you hanging out with ronni or anything
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:12 AM
nah, ill probably be able to decide which day it is. but i wont be going there friday regardless since ill have worked that day
my current routine is coming home on friday and then making a cup of coffee lol
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:16 AM
hahaha recovery coffee!
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:17 AM
i think i just like it. cos the caffine part doesn't really do much anymore
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:18 AM
nothing wrong with enjoying the taste. my mate adam will drink strong black coffee at like 2am and then go straight to bed
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:19 AM
yeah, i tink ive worked in coffee too long for it to be used as a tool haha. but, im also thinking about giving it up
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:35 AM
oh really? why's that?
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:38 AM
i tend to go through at least creamer a lot. it would probably save like 15 dollars a month. i could put that toward something else! also i have an assload of tea. also all of the coffee is probably not good for the shape of my ass tbh
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:39 AM
haha so a few reasons then. but if you enjoy it then I think it's okay to keep going, if that's like your "vice"
15 bucks a month isn't tons.
also I like women with a bit of junk in the trunk sooo
(sorry if that's not appropriate)
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:42 AM
i remember that you are an ass man
idk just trying to watch my health i guess
the last few months have been a little stressful, since i quit running due ot plague
but when i was running my thighs were actually pretty solid. i was very impressed
considering our upcoming discussion and whatnot, i dont think much is inappropriate unless we decide to go separate ways, and even then, thats not very serious
@ the comment
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:45 AM
that's fair. just trying to not be inappropriate, idk, can be hard to judge inflections and tones over text. but yeah my thighs and legs are pretty well toned tbh because 90% of the excercise I do is on the bike. once you get to my waist and higher I get significantly more flabby
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:47 AM
BIG same lol. thats where it settles in my family unfort. also you worry too much
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:47 AM
yep!
I'm kinda lucky in that a lot of my weight settles higher up, so if I dress well I look like I'm bulking up to get shredded. problem is that because my body type is mesomorph it would take a lot of effort to develop muscles
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:50 AM
honestly, big muscles are a ton of work. you have to devote to that lifestyle. i really just want to feel good. and looking nice so my partner doesn't go ew is also a nice bonus
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:51 AM
yeah feeling good is the most important thing. I've found that I feel way better in my body ever since I stopped having so much fast food. also agree about the partner thing lol
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:51 AM
yeah i dont eat fast food like really at all anymore
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:52 AM
sometimes when I'm playing D&D with the lads I kinda have to, but I always try to go for like Subway or something over McDonalds. KFC nuggets are top of my comfort food list though!
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:53 AM
yeah, i mean i still have it now and then, like on trips or parents visiting or something. but i can feel the fat a lot more now that i dont have a gallbladder
so greasy things are like ew, body does not like much
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 11:55 AM
makes sense! I remember my dietary preferences changed a bit when I had my appendix taken out, and that's much smaller than a gall bladder iirc
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WinterVines 21-May-20 11:58 AM
yeah. does a similiar filter thing tho i think. i kinda wish they had also taken the appendix at teh same time. apparently they do that sometimes. for the most part my diet hasn't cahnged much. i think i just feel how it affets my body more--or at least i pay attention to it
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:15 PM
man, it gets so late so fast
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:16 PM
yeah as much as I want the weekend to come the days are just flying by, helps when you're super busy I guess. two of the girls are off sick today and tomorrow so I'm helping out with the phones, which means I'm busier than normal @_@
and I've got a client demo in 45 minutes as well
had to wear a suit and everything in to work
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:17 PM
aw snap, fancy
sucks about being busier tho
we've slowed down with the curbside stuff. but still lots of redesign to do. what usually happens is that the morning flies by, the afternoon drags ass, and when i get home goes by in a blink
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:23 PM
hahahaha "drags ass" XD it's kinda the same for me, I do most of my interesting technical analysis stuff in the morning because as soon as I go on lunch I lose about 80% of my smarts
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:24 PM
yeah i think i just get impatient and slower after lunch. like im itching to get home to more important things.
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:27 PM
see my evenings are a bit of a drag. like I work out, shower, eat something healthy and then have to burn 2 or 3 hours before bed. and for some weird reason I just lose all interest in video games and stuff past like 7:30pm. so I usually surf youtube or discussion boards or something for an hour before falling asleep
ky likes to go to sleep by 7 too so I can't even hang out with her
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:28 PM
ive encountered that same nighttime disinterest. it sounds like you need a project or a distraction!
or an incredibly witty and gorgeous woman to talk to
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:29 PM
oh ho ho, I wonder where I might find one
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:29 PM
(spoilers, its me)
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:29 PM
perhaps a mysterious femme fatale from my past
XD you ruined the ending!
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:29 PM
XD
i mean if i get up earlyenough i can catch your evenings
your 730 is my 5 am
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:30 PM
yeah but I don't want you throwing off your sleep patterns or anything. I might have a new project to take up my evening time in the near future
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:30 PM
i mean i used to get up at 430 every dya
but the offset is that i need to go to bed earlier
so it depends on the day haha
ad maybe i wanna throw off my sleep pattners! who needs sleep when theres chasing to be done!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:31 PM
hahaha
it's been ages since I've played chasey
idk if that's an aus thing
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:33 PM
i think so
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:33 PM
just a game kids play where they chase each other
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:33 PM
is it like tag
sounds like it
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:34 PM
the point being, 'twill not be a one-sided chase, my lady
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:34 PM
good!
i think i would like that very much
its like safe flirting. thats a novel idea
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:35 PM
kinda depressing that that's a novel idea, but yes
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:36 PM
well i mean i guess its not novel in established relationships
but i dont mean like safe in hte physical danger sense
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:36 PM
ah I see what you mean, I was referring to the world at large
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:36 PM
but more like the mental rejected/how will this go sense
secure flirting maybe a better connotation?
friendly flirting gives off the wrong vibe i think
point being, ima prob flirt my ass off
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:37 PM
XD
that's like crack to guys btw
we are usually starved of positive attention
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:37 PM
think so? doesn't come across as floosey?
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:38 PM
God no. especially in a relationship
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:38 PM
or like easy or w/e
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:38 PM
or mutual interest or whatever
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:38 PM
i mean in a relationship absolutely. that shoudl always be happening both ways
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:38 PM
yeah. but even before then, both sides need to show interest
because otherwise how do you know to proceed?
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:38 PM
yeah, thats the hard part i think
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:39 PM
it really is
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:39 PM
like, esp in today's age. you dont wanna offend
but other tan having a serious convo there's no clear sign
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:39 PM
yeah. for guys too, it's hard to know what's being polite and what's showing interest. and if you read wrong and go too far then you're in real deep doo-doo
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:39 PM
yeah kinda a double standard really
and especially if its not in person, you lose out on so much tone and such
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:40 PM
oh yes, lots of it is trying to read body language and tones and inflections
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:40 PM
and it also depends on each person. whats polite to one person may not be to another
man relationship hunting is hard
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:40 PM
basically, human communication is wonky as hell XD
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:40 PM
yeah haha
how did we even manage it years ago
its so complicated
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:41 PM
it was and is. but we managed it because we got so much out of it. I know I did
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:41 PM
indeed. but i mean like starting in particular
its so hard!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:42 PM
oh who knows lol
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:42 PM
even this was hard
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:42 PM
I think maybe I said something dumb
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:42 PM
like i fished for info so much
cos i could'nt decide if you were sitll interested or were ready to distance forever
because your words could go either way!
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:43 PM
I kinda wondered why you were playing 20 questions. if I knew what you were angling for I probably could have saved you some time XD but once again I am hopeless at interpreting the female mind
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:43 PM
well i also didn't want to impose if you had really moved on
i was seeking the right discussion thread to get us to where we ultimately got (edited)
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:44 PM
kinda like surfing through timelines to find the right one, but with discussions! that's cool
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:44 PM
also i really just wanna play 20 questions, you have no idea
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ChainReaction01 21-May-20 12:44 PM
hahaha I would be game!
I like playing those kind of games
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WinterVines 21-May-20 12:44 PM
i need to make a list. and yeah, same
i never play them with anyone